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Fitzcarraldo - Review

2009-03-05T15:02:00.010-05:00

Winter is the coldest, darkest, sleepiest and fattest of seasons. It's the season of sweat pants and forgotten resolutions. The thrill in your day consists of rolling up a paper coffee cup rim, but never, ever, to win. You try to consume the easiest, most comforting stuff until, like some subterranean rodent, you feel it is time to poke your head up into the sky and squint into the warm sun again.

If winter had a badly written haiku it would read as follows:

Cold dark winter day
Runny nose but no tissue
I hate everything

All this is a round about way of saying that like any tired, cranky Canadian, I decided to kick my own butt (and brain) with a Werner Herzog movie night. I had a DVD (bought new and cheap!) of Fitzcarraldo. The cult classic seemed like the ticket to help me forget all the sick and miserable people shuffling around Toronto. At the end of the evening my little troubles seemed like small beans compared to madness, obsession, and toil in the jungles of the Amazon. Here's the review:

Fitzcarraldo
(Peru / West Germany, directed by Werner Herzog)

I really like Werner Herzog. His films can be somewhat insane, darkly hilarious, and sometimes brilliant. Not all his films are classic, or even very good, but some of them are so bloody great you forgive him his shortcomings. Fitzcarraldo was written and directed by Herzog. It was filmed in the Peruvian jungles and captures the sublime beauty and horrible reality of an ancient society colliding with turn of the century industry. It is the story of obsession and folly on a grand scale. It stars frequent Herzog collaborator Klaus Kinski. It has everything I love about Herzog's best films and IT WAS FANTASTIC.

Okay, so now you know where I stand. Fitzcarraldo is certainly not a light or fluffy movie, and at two and a half hours it can sometimes feel like a long slog. But the labour is so well rewarded. The immersion into the jungle, into that space and the madness that dwells there, is so complete. The unique jungle environments are a common setting for Herzog that he repeats in other films like Aguirre, the Wrath of God, and Rescue Dawn. Even compared to all his other work, Herzog rarely reaches as far, or gains as much, as he does with Fitzcarraldo.

The story of Fitzcarraldo was inspired by true events. During the turn of the 20th century, "rubber barons" in South America made huge amounts of money tapping and exporting the sap of the rubber trees. As their wealth grew, they feigned to live like European aristocracy in towns along the Amazon river. Fitzcarraldo (actually an Irish descendant named Brian Sweeney Fitzgerald), is a bankrupt railroad owner obsessed with bringing the beauty of opera to the wilds of his frontier town. With the love (and money) of his town's madame, Fitzcarraldo buys a steamboat to claim his own piece of the rubber wealth. With a largely suspect crew, Fitzcarraldo sails his boat into unfriendly territory and finally actualizes his plan to drag the steamboat out of the water and over a small mountain in order to circumvent impassable rapids.

Fitzcarraldo attempts to get a small business loan to buy a steamboat so he can drag it up a mountain and bring opera to the jungle. It's a tough sell.
The operative plot to Fitzcarraldo is so great I'm going to repeat it. With the help of a vast group of indigenous people, Fitzcarraldo builds a huge, multi leveled pulley system and drags a steamboat over a mountain. The indigenous people Fitzcarraldo finds to help him initially think he's a God. His passion is inspiring, but his methods are obviously flawed. Fitzcarraldo pays for his obsession when his allies reveal their own plans to appease the river Gods. Fitzcarraldo ends in tragic yet triumphant resolution with the hero both destroyed and redeemed by his passions.

This sort of tension cannot be good for digestion
Even with the intensity, humour and raw emotion Kinski brings to the title role, I think the real power of Fitzcarraldo is in the visuals. The central theme of man struggling with his passions in a hostile world (so important in many of Herzog's films) has never been as boldly realized as in the sight of a giant, creaking boat being hauled up over the jungle floor. The fact that this was a real boat, being pulled up a real hill, is the entire point. No CGI, no models, and no rational advice to stop trying to pull a God damned boat up a mountain could stop Herzog from filming his vision. It is there and it is real. I love that. I also love how Herzog holds a shot just long enough to become almost uncomfortable. The visuals overwhelm our normally short attention spans, just as the silence, and sounds of the jungle overwhelm any of the dialogue.

Fitzcarraldo is not the type of movie you pop into the DVD player when you want silly entertainment (although I must admit I find aspects of it pretty funny). Fitzcarraldo is the kind of movie that requires some effort to watch, but it is an engrossing story. The image of Fitzcarraldo on top of his boat, playing an opera record and being enraptured by the music while the natives follow him silently in their canoes stays in my mind. There are all sorts of messages in the movie, and all sorts of ways it may make an impression on you. I'll be happy to see Fitzcarraldo many more times in the years to come, and glean new images and impressions from this amazing film.

You should really watch Fitzcarraldo. You can find a cheap copy on DVD from the "Cult Classic Film Series" here in Canada. The packaging is red and yellow, with a distinct Grindhouse feel. I was afraid that the print might not be very good, but it was actually very clear and had quite a few bonus features.

Here's the dramatic (and German!) trailer for Fitzcarraldo.

Remembering Yma Sumac

2008-12-18T17:02:00.008-05:00

Yma Sumac: September 13, 1922 – November 1, 2008
On November 1st, Yma Sumac passed away peacefully at the age of 86. Yma Sumac was a soprano with an amazing five octave vocal range. She embodied "exotica" in the 1950s lounge music scene with her mambo beats, big band accompaniments, and Peruvian princess persona. Yma was confident, beautiful and mysterious. Most amazingly of all, she had a voice to back up her eccentric facade. In her popular albums she would sing with operatic timbre, imitate the melody of a songbird, or offer deep throaty growls and rise to impossibly high trills all in the same song! Many people found her weird, or didn't care for her music, but everyone had to admit the woman could sing.

This song called "Bo Mambo" and it's fantastic.
In the 50s when all the cool suburbanites had tiki bars, you could bet to find an Yma Sumac album on the wifi. She was an icon of exotic tiki culture. When people started tearing out the bamboo and laying shag rugs, Yma's career faded into nostalgic camp. She was a woman of a certain time; a genuine Inca Goddess for the basement rec room. Although her music transcended pure kitch appeal, it was, at its heart, most at home during cocktail hour while you sipped something accompanied by a small, paper umbrella.

These days hipsters my own age usually no nothing of Yma Sumac, although I bet they would recognize some of her arrangements from hip hop music or movie soundtracks. If you're one of those people nuts about The Big Lebowski, you really need to look into Yma Sumac. The Coen Brothers have long used her to underscore their bizarre and trippy scenes.

Even the young Yma had a lot of sultry attitude
Like all great eccentrics, Yma was subject to gossip and popular rumours. One of the best is that she was not in fact Yma Sumac, but Amy Camus (see what they did there?), a housewife from Brooklyn New York. My own dad told me that she sang in a made up language that "sounded like Spanish". Turns out she was singing in Jivaro, an obscure native Peruvian language. I think, amazing as it sounds, that Yma Sumac actually was a descendant of ancient Peruvian Emperors. Even if she wasn't, she had the fortitude and attitude to pull it off. How often do you come across a talent or a life such as hers?

Last year in an inspired bout of procrastination I found Yma Sumac's official website, and from there found the address where I could write to her and (with a $25 money order) receive my own autographed photo. I used a card with a photo of a dog on it for my letter, because Yma liked animals. I wrote that I was a big fan, and that I have always loved her music. I thanked her for being so unique and wonderful. It was a strange thing to do, I admit. I had never written a "fan letter" before, and I'm not sure I ever will again. I just was so amazed that she was still alive, still available to read my letter and send me her photo. The beautiful photograph I received is still carefully tacked up to my bulletin board, awaiting an exotic vintage frame worthy of her image. I'm so glad I wrote to her when I had the chance. Rest in peace, Yma.

Dreams with Sharp Teeth - Review

2008-11-20T15:03:00.006-05:00

Dreams with Sharp Teeth
(USA, Directed by Erik Nelson)

Harlan Ellison is one of the touchstones that helped form my adolescent self. Growing up in the country without cable TV or computers, I somehow stumbled into an appreciation for science fiction from the 1960s, 70s and 80s. Now that I think about it, it may have been the groundbreaking TVO program "Prisioners of Gravity" that started the trend. For half an hour once a week (and this had to be watched on schedule as we were still in the days of renting the VCR), interviews with science fiction, fantasy and comic book writers were edited together to create topical discussions. There, somewhere, was Harlan Ellison. He was hilarious and cantankerous and seemed perpetually on the cusp of a massive coronary attack. He seemed to hate a lot of things, but I felt he had good reason. Eventually I found his collection "Angry Candy" and from there moved into "Again Dangerous Visions" and "The Glass Teat". His writing was really strange and foreign, but he embodied for me the perfect image of the writer - someone alive with wit and opinion. I wanted to be a writer so, I guess, in a weird way I wanted to be Harlan Ellison. Strange goal for a country girl.

Anyway, now I live in the big city and I'm very educated and sophisticated and even appreciate the complexities of wine, but part of me is always going to want to be Harlan Ellison. I still read (and reread) his work. The documentary "Dreams with Sharp Teeth" was a must see for me at this year's Hot Docs festival. There was no question. I didn't even care if the movie was bad. I just wanted to spend some time with an old hero.

Harlan in his younger days
Luckily, Dreams with Sharp Teeth was a good solid movie, even without the rambling personal history. Harlan, now 74, shares his opinions, memories, and observations in energetic staccato bursts. There are references to his past including his many romantic liaisons, a childhood as the sarcastic runt who learned how to fight, and that one time he may or may not have shoved a guy down an elevator shaft. Additional interviews with acquaintances like Robin Willaims and Neil Gaiman offer their own fascinating insights into the author's world and the tempestuous reality of being his friend. The whole film is also greatly assisted by a tour through Harlan's LA Xanadu (aptly named the Lost Aztec Temple of Mars); a home that boasts secret passageways, wall to wall bookshelves, and a room dedicated to the preservation and storage of old typewriters.

Harlan today. I'm going to guess he's mad about something.
All this is sounding a little like the gushing of a fan girl, but even if you've never heard of Harlan Ellison, I think you will enjoy this film. It is about the creative process of a very prolific writer, and it offers insight into the dedication and determination necessary to accomplish any creative goal. It is often hilarious. Even if you never read one of his books, or totally disagree with his opinions, you will appreciate that Harlan Ellison is a pretty entertaining eccentric. He's also very intelligent, and his angry cries for us to rise above mediocrity are more appropriate than ever. Segments of the film are simply Harlan reading from one of his books, and in these segments I could have done with a little less of the undulating green screen background. It makes sense, however, to couple trippy visuals with the man who created "speculative fiction" in the 1960s. And even the parts that got a little too psychedelic were then followed by verite segments like Harlan driving in congested LA traffic and calling for the deaths of all his fellow motorists.

So in the end the film made me laugh, think, and even dust off some books I hadn't picked up in a while. I was not disappointed by "Dreams with Sharp Teeth" and I felt the film did justice to one of my literary heroes. I am such a geek I will try to buy this one on DVD.

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Here's the trailer for the film. In case you're at work or something I guess I should mention that the trailer contains swearing. I know. It's hard to imagine Harlan Ellison ever uttering a disagreeable word but there it is.

The Rentz doc is FINALLY FINISHED!

2008-11-06T12:09:00.007-05:00

Will wonders never cease?! After (mumbled number) years, the documentary I made about Canadian folk artist Ewald Rentz is finally shot, edited, and available on DVD. The film is titled The "Completed" Art of Ewald Rentz. This is a major accomplishment for me, and one of the reasons I haven't updated my blog in many a months.

You can learn more about the film at the NEW Rentz movie website. This site replaces my old website, which told people to watch for the film's release in "Fall 2004" - a deadline I seem to have missed. In my own defense, we did film two additional (and very valuable) interviews, and I had to cat sit for a neighbour at least twice during the extra four years it took to complete. There's only so much you can do in a day.

Looking back at the long process of making this short film, I can at least take solace in the fact that I learned a lot along the way. The premise was simple; to interview collectors, dealers and acquaintances of Ewald Rentz and to intersect those interviews with detailed footage of his work. It wasn't like I was going all Herzog and running up an active volcano or anything. My interview subjects were extremely gracious and generous with their time and expertise. My producer Phillip Ross is also my dad so I didn't have any surly teamsters to befriend. It was in many ways an easy project, yet the journey from research to completion was surprisingly complex.

Am I happy with the finished film? BIG YES. There is a lot of great information in it about Rentz, his backgroud and inspirations, and his unique artistic style. The interviews vary from informational to personal. There's a bit of humour and a touch of drama. There are many good, detailed shots on the artwork, and family photos that put the artwork in context with Rentz's life. I am proud of the film and the response by others has been very positive.

Interview subject and major Canadian folk art collector Susan Murray
However, this is a blog where I criticize other documentaries, so in that spirit let me also tell you about the difficulties I experienced. My cinematography is pretty solid, although in editing I did find a need for more cut away shots. I started shooting the first interview straight out of film school, and I was so aware of how my little DV camera was not professional that I compensated by practically gluing it to a tripod. It makes some of the shots stable but a bit boring. We made good use of available light, save one interview that had the subject in a slightly darkened room with GIANT SUNNY WINDOWS on either side of his head. It sort of looked like we were in a bunker with an atomic explosion happening right outside the window. Luckily for me there are many decent exposure fixes built right into Final Cut Pro. The friendly experts at Trinity Square Video also helped me "turn down" the contrast. Most importantly, next time I'm shooting I'll ask myself "will this look like a bomb scene?" and change the lighting before I start rolling.

Checking out a small Rentz sculpture in detail
The sound quality is 80% good, with 20% "I wish I had a better directional mic so I didn't hear that lady sneezing off camera". I got pretty obsessive about the sound in post, often going frame by frame to cut out or diminish the worst offenders. It's amazing how much you do in post production with sound, image and even colour changes that you know the audience will never, ever appreciate. I guess it's an appreciation of omission. You just have to take the editor's word for it that the hours spent in a dark editing room makes a better final product.

Sculpture by Ewald Rentz
The film was so low budget, I believe it qualifies as "no budget plus gas money". I used my own camera, my own light set, and my own computer (mainly) to edit. Producer Phil secured the interviews, drove us around, asked the questions and became an interview subject himself. We both wore many hats to finish our little film. Next time out I may want to have a three or four person crew (a boom mic would be a lovely thing) but I have no regrets about the method or final product we produced. In a way, the honesty and joy of folk art is mimicked in our ragtag shooting style. Everyone involved with this film wanted to share something about the art they love, and that appreciation shines though any technical shortcomings.

Look at that terrific DVD. Would you like to own a copy? YOU CAN!
So here's the thing, if you're a fan of Ewald Rentz, Canadian folk art, or supporting struggling filmmakers, you can buy a copy of the DVD for only $20 Canadian. That's $20 - taxes included! The DVD comes with an image slideshow, full colour trapsheet, and shrink wrapping. We spent the money on professional DVD duplication and it shows (don't forget to be impressed by the bar code).Check out www.rentzmovie.com to order. It makes a great holiday gift! Order your copy today!

...I guess my critique turned into a bit of a sales pitch but seriously, I have multiple boxes of DVDs in the corner of my office that I would just love to wrap up and mail to warm loving homes. All major credit cards are accepted! SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED! ORDER NOW!!!

Special Self-Congratulatory Post!

2008-07-29T13:19:00.015-04:00

I'm dedicating this blog post to some stuff I've done recently. I've managed to accomplish a few creative things in spite of the daily grind, the plumbers invading my apartment, and the subsequent waterfall spewing forth from behind my kitchen cupboards (pipes can explode, apparently). I'm going to take a moment to relax with a cup of tea and congratulate myself. I'm going to, as the kids say, celebrate like it's my birthday. But not my real birthdays. Because those depress me.

First of all, a new issue of filmCAN is out and three of my Hot Docs reviews are included. FilmCAN keeps getting better with each new issue. Great interviews with intriguing film makers, reviews, and essays from knowledgeable fans who really know and love the movies. Check out their pod casts and exclusive digital downloads. There's a lot of great stuff on the site and I'm proud to be part of their team.

Secondly, a few months ago I finished a large web project for a client. The site is for an illustrator, calligrapher, and visual artist named Michele Nidenoff. Michele's work has appeared in numerous magazines and children's books (as well as on my office wall). Together we came up with a layout that would showcase her artwork in a clean, intuitive and simple design. I'm particularly proud of the "thumbnail / large image with caption" function that I implemented. It had me stumped at first but through a whole lotta CSS wrangling I figured out how to make this deceptively "easy" function work perfectly. I am very happy with the final site as well as the chance to help this wonderful artist and her growing business.

So I guess I should stop patting myself on the back now (it makes it really hard to type). I'll be posting a new review soon and, as always, I value your comments. If you need a website designer / media critic / person with an unusually damp kitchen you know who to call.

Ever hear of this Joss Whedon guy?

2008-07-21T14:04:00.011-04:00

So I am simultaneously proving and disproving my geek cred by recommending a podcast by Joss Whedon. If you are a true geek, you've been following his series Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog since it debuted on July 15th. If you're not a geek than you are very lost and have stumbled upon a site dedicated to documentaries, video games, and, to a lesser extent, pez dispensers. So I'm guessing you're not even reading this sentence and have already scuttled off to something cool like a blog dedicated to celebrity gossip or a tattoo enthusiast bulletin board.

For those of you still here (hey thanks!), I am extending a hearty endorsement of Joss Wheadon and his low budget enterprise. Right now DHSAB is a video series available for download on iTunes. It costs a few bucks per 12 to 15 minute episode and there are three episodes in total. Here's the important-so-I'm-using-bold part: the series is only available on iTunes until July 29. After that, it'll be pulled to build interest in the forthcoming DVD. I'd recommend you download the series and buy the DVD, because the DVD is going to have plenty of cra-zay extras like a musical commentary track. What? Exactly.

The series stars Neil Patrick Harris, Felicia Day and Nathan Fillion. The script is intentionally campy and fun, with the winning mix of drama and sarcastic humour that made Whedon's other shows cult classics. Also, it's a freaking musical, and the actors do an amazing job with some really good, catchy material.

So will Dr. Horrible win the girl of his dreams? Will Bad Horse (the Thoroughbred of Sin) accept his application to the Evil League of Evil? Will Nathan Fillion flex his muscles in that tight little T-shirt? The only way to find out is to watch...

Grey Gardens - Review

2008-07-03T16:08:00.014-04:00

Looking back only a month ago, it seems impossible that I knew nothing about Big Edie, Little Edie, and the crumbling grandeur of a Hamptons estate called Grey Gardens. Although I graduated from film school no one had ever told me about this documentary. You know how I found out about it? Gilmore Girls. That's right. The show where women chatter endlessly about boys, clothes, food they like to eat, and obscure pop culture. Take that University education! Since I first watched Grey Gardens I've become a bit obsessed with all things Edie. This film has quite the cult following with everyone from drag queens to film snobs. The web is full of articles about the Beal women, info on the subsequent "Grey Gardens" Broadway musical and upcoming scripted film (shot on Toronto Island!). I'm breathless with all sorts of things to say about this doc. Good thing I'm typing.

Grey Gardens
(USA, Directed by David Maysles, Albert Maysles, Ellen Hovde, Muffie Meyer)

Grey Gardens is an eminently watchable and effective examination of mother and daughter "Big" Edie and "Little" Edie Bouvier Beals. Once the purebred beauties of a privileged and educated upper class, the women (at ages 78 and 56) are now ostracized from their families and peers, living in poverty among the decay of their East Hamptons estate. Big Edie is the aunt of none other than Jackie Kennedy. Wed into an important family, she was a wife and mother who longed for a singing career after her marriage dissolved. Little Edie was a beautiful model and dancer who didn't want to settle into the trappings of her father's strict rules. They were rebels who refused a gilded cage in search of lives of their own making. The Beal women paid for their rebellion in emotional co-dependence, poverty and isolation. They fought a constant battle with each other - Big Edie holding her daughter to her, Little Edie resentful but unwilling to break free - but they essentially lived as they wanted.

The Maysles brothers do their subjects a great service by remaining unobtrusive and politely non-judgmental of the Beals. David and Albert Maysles (the only seen crew) observe and sometimes communicate directly with the women, but for the most part their responses are expressed non-verbally with spontaneous camera zooms or silently held shots. Their patience is rewarded with intimate access to the women and their entangled relationship. All the usual editorial embellishments of documentary are absent (voice over, musical cues, slow motion). The verite style can become tedious with lesser film makers, or lesser subjects, but here the mix between unedited life and implied greater meaning is beautifully balanced.

Artistry of the film makers aside, how could you not be fascinated by these women? Big Edie runs the house from her filthy, cat infested bedroom (she leaves the second floor of the house only once in the film). She sings, offers pieces of advice and criticism and yells out commands to her daughter in a lilting, girlish voice. Little Edie, who shares her mother's bedroom, is often found on the terrace, among the overgrown gardens, or in the attic feeding the raccoons. Dressed in head scarves and high heels, Little Edie is a grown up demented Debutante. She speaks directly to the camera and alternates between coquettish prancing, conspiratorial whispers, and the indignant observations of a "staunch character". Not stupid, and not quite crazy, both women provide many moments of dark and strange humour. I felt able to laugh without feeling guilty; a distinction I credit to the unapologetic strength of the subjects. Big Edie's singing voice can break your heart, but you don't feel sorry for her. Even when you see old photographs of the women in their glory days of beauty, wealth and influence, the effect is not depressing. The Beal women are authentic eccentrics. They live as they want, and there is a freedom in that that permeates the obvious economic and social deficiencies of their lives.

So if you can't tell, I really recommend this film. There are long segments where the women bicker, and I'm not going to promise that every moment is going to hold you at rapt attention. But the greater story of these women, and their isolated lives (broken only by a few notable visitors) is well worth the visit. Criterion Collection released an excellent DVD of the film plus bonus materials. Before the feature film is released do yourself a favour and try to see this fantastic documentary. 5 out of 5

Song Sung Blue - Review

2008-04-28T12:17:00.012-04:00

Well, Hot Docs is over but my reviews keep coming. I'm off to Las Vegas in a few days so I'm going to keep this preamble short. Concordantly, Hot Docs was great this year but I didn't feel like I really enjoyed it as much as years past. This might have something to do with a deadline at work, or the tragic lack of popcorn at most of the venues I attended. I was very happy, however, to attend the Song Sung Blue screening. I really liked this movie, and not just because I have a deep and embarrassing love for Neil Diamond.

Song Sung Blue
(USA, Directed by Greg Kohs)

Who knew a film about a Neil Diamond impersonator would be so fraught with pathos and tragedy? I went into the screening expecting to have a few laughs and maybe gain some insight into the competitive world of tribute artists. I didn't expect the sympathy I came to feel for Mike Sardina, his wife Claire, and their family. Based on what I saw, Song Sung Blue was one of the strongest films to screen at this year's Hot Docs. Much like the song in the title, the film stays in your head long after the credits roll.

Of course, Mike and Claire Sardina are pretty unforgettable people. Stationed in Milwaukee, they eked out a living at bars and parties as the duo "Lightning and Thunder". Mike (Lightning), was a completely committed Neil Diamond impersonator and musician in his own right, and Claire (Thunder) provided backup vocals and stole the spotlight with her strong Patsy Cline covers. They were in love with performing and the promise of fame. They had fans who followed them over the years and across the Midwest. On stage, they were an entertaining mix of enthusiasm and corn ball dramatics.

Off stage, however, the Sardina family were unravelling at the seams. Although obviously in love, Mike and Claire went through a bizarre accident that left Claire dependant on painkillers and in a deep depression. As she went so did the family, and the intimate access granted to the film makers (supplemented by home videos) gives a front row seat to the resulting dysfunction.

Without giving anything else away, there is a redemption, of sorts, for the family. Through all the hardships Lightning and Thunder remain committed to their music and to each other. This is a strangely epic story told on a very small, almost suffocatingly close scale. It's an exploration of family dynamics, personal struggle, and even the American dream. It’s a surreal and often strange journey, but one that leaves the viewer with more than just old pop songs to contemplate. 4.5 out of 5.

The TTC Strike - My Calm and Rational Thoughts (honestly!)

2008-04-26T11:39:00.008-04:00

I will try to keep this short. Last night I attended a Hot Docs screening at the Rom theatre. After the screening a festival volunteer came in and told us we better get out of the theatre if we wanted to take transit. It was 11:15 and the TTC was going on strike in 45 minutes.

The huge network of buses, trains and streetcars responsible for getting people home safely was going on strike, on a Friday night, with barely an hour’s notice. Few bars, clubs, restaurants, and movie theatres were able to give their patrons a warning. At midnight - exactly when most people start thinking about getting home and sleeping off their fun - the TTC left everyone stranded.

Thanks to our Hot Docs volunteer, we were able to catch one of the last trains going North and made it home with minutes to spare. Then we tuned into CP24 coverage of the strike. We watched drunk (and, as time passed, drunker) citizens trying to hail cabs and call family. There were young women teetering around in high heels, trying to rouse themselves for the long walk home to Scarborough.

Union president Bob Kinnear said, in part, that they didn’t give us a warning because their employees experienced “verbal and sometimes physical abuse” when they gave a warning last time. They were concerned for the employees safety. What about our safety? What about the poor drunk kids who had to hoof it home from the downtown core? A lot of us don’t have family nearby and our friends are also TTC reliant. It’s one thing to know “hey, I can’t go out because the TTC isn’t running”. It’s a whole other thing to realize you can't get home in the middle of the night.

Now, I must make a comment on behalf of the TTC. I know this is a union thing and I don’t want to see TTC employees abused. Verbal and physical assault should not be tolerated. When a TTC employee is injured on the job, I think it’s fair for them to get full pay while they are off work. And all the people who say that TTC employees should be “nicer” and provide unflinchingly cheerful service have obviously never worked with the public. As someone with more than a few years retail experience, I can tell you that employees are just people with the same problems you have, trying to put up with strangers who can be real jerks. Don’t think your metropass bought you indentured servants.

That being said, it has since come to light that the main issue behind the strike was job security for the maintenance staff. Well, here’s a news flash for the union members, everyone is losing their job security. At least TTC staff get good hourly wages, raises, benefits, and pensions. That’s a lot more than most people who rely on the TTC can say about their own employment. You may lose your job? Join the effing club. It’s a new global economy and everyone can be out sourced. We can’t expect any company to take care of us for the rest of our lives.

Finally (did I say this would be short? Sorry), the really sad thing about the strike is how it further damages the goodwill awarded to TTC employees for their service. Most people in Toronto want the TTC to be happy. We keep paying more for our fare. Even when the most drunk and disorderly of us are left stranded on a Friday night, we don’t riot or react violently. We’re mostly nice people but there’s only so much we’ll take. I’m not going to pretend I know all the issues currently plaguing the union negotiations but I do know that it’s time to make the TTC an essential service (and / or privatized). We’re a middle class city full of people who work hard. We just want to get home (and to Hot Docs screenings) safely and without paying more than we can afford. It shouldn't be an impossible, or conditional, request.

Kids + Money, Emoticons - Review

2008-04-23T12:09:00.019-04:00

Okay, I'm making up for lost time here. It's like an episode of Star Trek where the past will keep moving faster and faster until it finally meets with the present. And eventually I'll be writing about films before I've even watched them. And then the fabric of space and time will wrinkle and we'll have to send Data into the resulting wormhole. God's speed you lovable android!

That's not going to segue into the docs I'm talking about so.... here's some reviews!

Kids + Money
(USA, Directed by Lauren Greenfield)

This short film screened before Emoticons on an "all about teenagers" double bill. Much like its succinct title, it focuses mainly on wealthy 12 to 16 year olds in LA, and the way they spend their parent's money. This is a very rich (oh the puns!) and fertile ground for a documentary film. It strikes a definite chord with the audience, especially when you consider the average doc watcher is probably a working class hipster or socially conscious hippie. There is something wonderfully scandalous about a twelve year old owning a $3,000 book bag, and I think the audience really enjoyed their righteous indignation. The sheer materialistic lust exhibited by these rich young things would make Paris Hilton blush. Perhaps appearances have always meant the most to us during our teenage years, but Kids + Money gives us a peek at a much grander level of decadence and greed.

To counterbalance the rich kids, the film also profiles kids from middle class and economically depressed families. These kids are working to help their families survive, but they are not immune to the allure of wealth. In the interviews with one teenage boy in particular, sitting in the back yard of his run down apartment, the film says something almost profound. Here is a boy who is smart and driven, but focused almost entirely of maintaining an image of wealth. He lives a lie, and his envy of the truly wealthy taints everything he does. He would like to stop caring but says that "money really does make the world go round". There is an undeniable truth to that statement. It's easy to criticize kids for being materialistic, shallow, and easily influenced, but they are only following society's lead. Our whole economy is based on consumption and teenagers were practically invented by retailers.

Kids + Money was very enjoyable and quite thought provoking. I appreciated the simple visual style of the interviews and the tight editing. Director Lauren Greenfield let her subjects speak for themselves without interjecting her own views of consumer culture. It's up to us to change our values and the role money has in our children's lives. It's a simple message, but one that's easily forgotten. 4.5 out of 5

Emoticons
(Netherlands, Directed by Heddy Honigmann)

Emoticons is an hour long film that takes a look at how isolated teenage girls use the Internet. Social networking sites link girls who are bullied, misunderstood, depressed or ignored, so that they can communicate with each other. They play online games, chat, and use web cams to keep tabs on each other's lives. Some of the girls find real friends who give them the support they may lack at home or school. Others use the internet for autonomous advice and entertainment. In all cases, the internet provides an escape from difficult and sometimes painful reality.

Director Heddy Honigmann uses web cams to conduct her interviews, and this is my first criticism of the film. Not only is watching people on a computer visually boring, there is something almost creepy about Honigmann, a grown woman always partially in shadow, using chat rooms to coax her young subjects into telling us why they're lonely. The director has no malicious intent, but nonetheless it play a little close to the description of the internet predator we keep telling kids to beware. What if the director had been a man? Is it okay for teenagers to chat with each other but not, necessarily, to adults (or perhaps it is the absence of adults that sends teens to the internet in the first place)? To be fair, Honigmann also uses traditional in person interview techniques with her subjects, often giving us insight into the teen's social and family situations. In these segments, however, the cinematography remains flat and uninteresting.

The subjects of the film are varied in their particular situations but they share hardships any teenager could recognize. The desire for acceptance while feeling alienated and awkward are universal teenage experiences. The fact that now teens connect over the internet is a valid point, but not very surprising. I don't want to give the impression that I did not relate to some of these kids, or that I was insensitive to their problems. I was just too aware of what I was supposed to feel, with the film giving emotional cues as obvious as a tearful email and slow motion hug. Also, some subjects were forced through to not very satisfying conclusions, while other teens were dropped from the narrative without reason. In the end Emoticons felt as distant to me as, well, an internet chat room. 2.5 out of 5

Anvil! The Story of Anvil - Review

2008-04-22T15:03:00.012-04:00

There comes a time in any rock star/blogger's life when they must pick up the pieces of their battered music career/no career and continue to pursue their dreams. I'm a full six days late in starting my Hot Docs blog. The reasons for my tardiness run the gauntlet from "not enough time" to "too much work" to "I'll write a review after I finish this very important sudoku". But I will not give up. Like the metal band Anvil I will not be dissuaded by my age, unpopularity, and the obvious futility of my goals. I will fight another day. ROCK ON!

Anvil! The Story of Anvil
(Canada, Directed by Sacha Gervasi)

Hot Docs 2008 opened with a pair of films. One was the somber and very well reviewed "Air India 182" about the 1985 airplane bombing tragedy. The other was a film about a largely forgotten hard rock band from Toronto called "Anvil! The Story of Anvil". I choose to attend Anvil, because I'm the type of person who likes my opening night films underscored by wailing guitars. Under the strange dreamy ceiling of fake leaves and giant trees in the Winter Garden Theatre, a packed house laughed, cheered and even cried along with the true story of Anvil. Even if you never wanted to be a rock god, there is something quite touching in this story of every day dudes who never give up on their dreams. The guys in Anvil have jobs, but not careers. They refuse sensible hair cuts. They are making barely enough money to survive until their music takes off. And they've been doing this for over thirty years. Inadvisable? Yes. Inspirational? Surprisingly, yes.

Anvil centres around founding Anvil members Steve “Lips” Kudlow and Robb Reiner - best buddies since they were teenagers - and their odyssey to recapture the brief success Anvil enjoyed in the early 80s. The film opens with famous musicians like Slash and Lars Ulrich opining on the importance of Anvil to heavy metal, and theories on why the band never made it (Lars thinks it may be because of the whole "Canadian thing"). Cut to Toronto, present day, and the lads of Anvil have grown into greying delivery men and construction workers. They play gigs on weekends and continue to record albums, but the crowds to see them perform are neither numerous nor consistent. The band mates' long suffering families continue to support their loved ones, but Anvil's future is bleak. Hard rock is a young man's game, and Anvil's members are way past their marketable prime. Everything seems destined to finally, perhaps mercifully, decline until an email from a fan suggests the possibility of a European tour. With little to go on but a wing and a prayer, Anvil packs up their gear and heads to Europe.

Photo of rock's real deal? Or worst Crocs ad ever?

From this point on, the film is a roller coaster ride of huge expectations and crushing defeat. The European tour in particular is alternatively hilarious and heart breaking. Clashing egos, bad tour managers, skipped payments and empty venues test the band's mettle. Reconciliations, appreciative fans, and good rocking out give the band strength. Even when they are yelling and throwing tantrums, the members of Anvil are likable. Perhaps this is because we believe that they simply do not know better. Lips, especially, reminds me of a muppet - part Animal, part hoser - who remains eternally optimistic in the face of huge, crushing obstacles. Eventually the band records a new CD, and even rekindles a bit of the old fan support. Will Anvil succeed? Well, the story is still being written. At the screening I attended the band was there and they were quick to tell us we could buy a CD in the lobby.

Visually, the film is very well shot and the editing is strong. Concert footage features plenty of song snippets but thankfully cuts out much of the loudest head banging. The film's director, Sacha Gervasi, was actually a roadie with Anvil on one of their early tours. He obviously has affection for his film's subjects, but he never makes the uninitiated feel left out. This is not a geeky inside story that will only appeal to metal heads. The larger questions in the film - questions about personal fulfillment, fame, respect and selfish needs - can apply to anyone in any walk of life. We've all felt the desire to shake off our nine to five jobs and become the person we dreamed about when we were teenagers. To paraphrase The Big Lebowski, I'm glad Anvil is out there, rocking it out for the rest of us. 4 out of 5

** Extra name dropping bonus feature. Film critic and TV personality Geoff Pevere came into our office last week. We were chatting, Geoff and I, about the Hot Docs festival and he brought up Anvil. He was quite enthusiastic about the film, and made favourable comparisons to Spinal Tap (mocumentary, I know) and the Metallica doc "Some Kind of Monster". I think you can take it from me, Geoff Pevere's buddy, that he would also recommend you see this film.**

Killing me won’t bring back your Honey! Reflections on a Nicolas Cage Movie Night

2008-02-13T13:29:00.011-05:00

There are many stars in Hollywood. Some actors are emotional powerhouses that deliver poignant and affecting performances. Others send hearts aflutter with charm, charisma and good looks. Yet another actor is Nicolas Cage. Recently, we decided to dedicate an evening to the recent works of Mr. Cage with a triple bill of National Treasure, The Wicker Man, and Ghost Rider. When the lights went down we were hoping for a passable evening of entertainment. When the lights came up six hours later we emerged slightly bewildered but forever changed by the awesome appeal of this man and his ridiculous films. Here are some quick reviews...

National Treasure - In this fun adventure Nicholas Cage plays a suave (?) and brilliant (?!) history buff who is trying to prove his family’s good name, steal the Declaration of Independence, and also find a giant room stuffed with treasure. He woos a strangely Nordic girlfriend, mentors an improbably hot computer geek, and learns to accept weirdo dad Jon Voight. In other movies, the “treasure” sought at the beginning of the film would transform into a metaphor about the immaterial elements that give our lives meaning. Cage would start out trying to find a bunch of money, but would learn through a series of revelations that the real treasure is the love of his family, or learning to help others, or some crap like that. In this movie, the treasure is literally a giant room full of gold and Cage learns absolutely nothing. It's awesome.

Best Nicholas Cage Quote: I just really thought I was gonna find the treasure.
State of Nicholas Cage's Hair: Kind of mesmerising. Receding hairline present not only on the top of his head, but also above the ears. It's what I like to call the "lobotomy haircut".

Look over there! Treasure!

The Wicker Man: Oh, how I wanted to see this movie. I read a hilarious review on the Onion AV Club, and it really had me psyched. When I read that the plot basically devolves to Cage in a bear suit, running around and punching random women in the face, I realised I had to own a copy of this DVD for future prosperity. As with anything so anticipated, the actuality was a little disappointing. Sure, Nicolas Cage starts at an emotionally tense point and then becomes steadily, and hilariously, more agitated until he's just screaming every single one of his lines. Sure, there's a creepy island full of stoic women who practice a Goddess-centric religion that may or may not include human sacrifice. But personally, I felt there was too much build up of an incomprehensible plot, and too little kicking bar maids through walls. It is a weirdly entertaining movie. Not scary, but creepy. Not good, but almost so bad it's good... Okay, it's good.

The ladies of Summersisle don't want to bee friends. Get it? BEE?!

Best Nicolas Cage Quote: "How'd it get burned? How'd it get burned?! HOW'D IT GET BURNED, HOW'D IT GET BURNED, HOW'D IT GET BURNED?!" Also see the title of this article, the infamous "KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GODDAMNED HONEY!". This was followed in the film with "AAAAHHH! MY LEGS!! AAAHHHGGG!" Intrigued? Yeah, I know you are.
State of Nicolas Cage's Hair: I was too distracted by "THE BEES! OH GOD THEY'RE IN MY EYES!" to notice his hair.

Ghost Rider: Nicolas Cage is really in his crazy ass element in this comic book flick. He plays a guy who sold his soul to the devil when he was young and impossibly good looking. When the kid becomes older (and transforms into Cage), he becomes a flaming skull of justice - the Ghost Rider - who has to drive around the city on his hell spawn bike and use a chain lasso to capture escaped demons from hell who... oh, never mind. It's not really important. What's important is that Cage gave his character special quirky attributes like a love of the Carpenters (still creepy after all these years), and a penchant for eating jelly beans out of a martini glass. Now that there is some fancy character development. Bonus points also go for featuring Peter Fonda as the devil, and Sam Elliot as a grizzled cemetery caretaker. I love Sam Elliot but he really needs to keep up with the facial hair. He grows a beard up to his eyeballs.

Best Nicolas Cage Quote: He may have my soul, but he doesn't have my spirit.
State of Nicolas Cage's Hair: Pretty nice! The rug / weave / unholy alliance between forehead and bangs that Cage sports has a nice younger look. I have to say, I was impressed. Also, there's a scene where he's not wearing a shirt that must be noted because, honestly, the guy has muscles you never thought possible. Oh God. I'm crushing on Nicolas Cage.

So I think that's about all I want to write about Nicolas Cage. Ever. I would recommend all of these films, especially grouped together with home-made pizza, spirited drinks, and a desire to have a few good laughs. They are not necessarily good films, but they are entertaining. And sometimes that's all you want on a cold winter night.

For the Bible Tells Me So - Review

2008-01-11T15:47:00.000-05:00

On Wednesday I saw the Doc Soup screening of For the Bible Tells me So. Despite sitting on the extreme right and the extreme front (that was a packed house!), I enjoyed the film. If you're interested, FTBTMS is playing here in Toronto over the next few weeks at the Royal Cinema.

For the Bible Tells Me So
(USA, Directed by Daniel Karslake)

There is a chasm between the Christian church and homosexuality. The five American families profiled in For the Bible Tells me So attempt to bridge that gap and accept their own homosexual kin. It is a surprisingly respectful film that neither ignores nor ridicules the beliefs of many average Christians. It also expresses uncompromising condemnation of the intolerance, hatred, and violence spread by a literal (and distorted) reading of the Bible. Politics, history and science are introduced for consideration without the sometimes used sneer of an anti-religion “biased” film maker. In this way, director Daniel Karslake has made a thinking Christian’s film that challenges yet never discounts the faith.

Although rudimentary in his argument that the Bible has been interpreted incorrectly, Karslake does a good job of raising questions in his target Christian audience. Interviews with theologians and historians stress context in the interpretation of Bible study. Examination of the politics behind the church’s teachings effectively muddle long held doctrine. If you read that homosexuality is an abomination what does that word actually mean? Why are Christians told to adhere to one passage of the Bible yet completely ignore others? What do heterosexuals truly fear in homosexuality?

The film doesn't pull its emotional punches, especially in the interview of one woman who coolly admits to disowning her lesbian daughter and pushing her towards suicide. The mother eventually finds acceptance, but not before a long journey of education and prayer. There are other parents who never repent their beliefs but continue to struggle. Everyone speaks (and is allowed to speak) with honestly and emotion.

I really admired the wide scope of interviews used in the film. From families in heartland America, to people of God like openly gay Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson, to public political figures like the Gephardt family, these are stories from real people facing a very modern religious conflict. I would say that they succeed beautifully in putting a face on loving, Christian families in America today.

Of course, a film with this subject matter is bound to cause controversy. Only a quick look at the internet discussion boards show that most people who care to comment about this film either hate homosexuals or hate religion. I suppose anyone so steeped in dogma and fear is unlikely to buy a ticket. It's a shame, and somewhat ironic, that prejudice will keep people from watching a film that refuses to scapegoat either religion or homosexuality, and in fact holds tolerance as its strongest message.

This is a somewhat sprawling, but still impactful film. It will be most resonant with Christians who need a primer on the evils of homophobia, but the film is accessible and thought provoking for others as well. It suffers from repetition and lack of visual flare, but has only a few misfires in terms of content . A short “humorous” cartoon about the biology of homosexuality, for instance, feels like it’s trying too hard to make science appetizing to conservatives. Uneven segments aside, For the Bible Tells Me So will stay with you and hopefully spark some very interesting discussions long after the credits roll. 4 out of 5.

I got pw0ned

2007-12-19T14:41:00.000-05:00

Last night I checked this site from my Wii browser. I found that instead of my rotating photo menu and witty witty words, my website was reduced to a blank green screen. Nothing was visible. I was hitting the site, but all was not right in Cassytown.

This morning I checked again in the hope that something I did not understand would correct itself, and my site would be restored. No such luck. Same green screen, same mysterious lack of anything not green. I checked the html source and found that along with my usual code, there was a large block of links hidden at the bottom of the page. They were clumped together, just sitting there looking at me with ugly, beady eyes.

Shock. Horror. Someone had hacked my site.

My site. My little site that gets 10,000 hits a month*. Why on God's green internet would you hack my site? These are dark times indeed. I know other people get spammed, and hacked, but this is my website. I still feel violated, like someone was touching my code.

I thought briefly that maybe Billy Mitchell had read my review of King of Kong, didn't take kindly to the cracks about his hair, and decided to use his awesome geek powers to shut me down. That would be kind of cool, actually. "Midnight Herring: We really pissed off Billy Mitchell! Bookmark us today!". But no. It is only a dream to think I could have that effect on such a giant of videogames and hot sauce. My hacker was probably just a regular old spam bot that found a new sucker with a blog.

So to conclude what is, sadly, the most excitement my little page has ever seen, I am now in the process of contacting my server and rebooting the site. Will I be shut down again? Maybe it's not a hacker - maybe it's THE MAN and I've stumbled upon some secret about... movies or Nintendo... that he doesn't want you to know. Trust no one. The truth is out there.

Peace out for now. I'm gonna be back and bigger than ever in 2008. No amount of hacking can keep me down! Unless of course they change my password. Then I'm screwed.

Merry Christmas! Happy holidays everyone!

*I know, I was as shocked as you to find my hits were that high. One day maybe I can say with certainty that at least 50 people read my blog intentionally instead of landing on my site after a search for late night fishing. Live the dream Cassandra! Live the dream!

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters Review

2007-12-11T15:09:00.000-05:00

All right, so I have two, well, actually three documentaries that I've seen recently that I should review. I saw the first almost two months ago, and I've had very good intentions to finish the review ever since. But it's Christmas time and I'm giddy with Yuletide glee, so I'm going to skip those other docs and review the best one first. The awesome one. The one that makes me think reindeer can fly and elves can be dentists. I'm reviewing King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters.

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
(USA, Directed by Seth Gordon)

King of Kong is the kind of documentary that most people will enjoy, a select few will find pointless, and some will absolutely love with the devotion of a plumber out to save his princess from a rampaging, barrel throwing ape. It centres around two men and the classic 1981 arcade game, Donkey Kong. One of the men is reigning Donkey Kong champ, entrepreneur, and feathered hair aficionado Billy Mitchell. The other is all around nice guy, family man and dedicated competitor Steve Wiebe whose arcade skillz threaten to usurp the DK crown. Watching from the sidelines at arcade tournaments across America are a host of nerdy, OCD riddled video game champs. Billy is their king, but Steve is winning over the crowd. One has novelty neckties while the other teaches high school science. They are both men who place a inordinate amount of self esteem into being the one, true, Donkey Kong champion.

So begins, and ends, the surface plot of King of Kong. It's about the men who compete to master a video game most kids today can only reference in association with MarioKart. It's about many grown men (and at least one plucky woman) who meet in huddled, underground and (one can only guess), slightly stinky arcades to beat their chests and prove who has the biggest joystick. In short, a few people may find the documentary trite, and the subjects pathetic. Those people need to lighten up and embrace the geek within. There is so much humour, humility, and honest emotion in this film it is almost impossible not to be drawn into the battle.

Things Billy Mitchell Enjoys: hot sauce, dark and lustrous hair, kicking your ass at any video game from the 80s
Billy is a classic alpha nerd. He won moderate fame, fortune, and a wife with very large breasts by spending thousands of hours making Pac Man eat dots. He used his early reputation as the supreme arcade champ to build a hot sauce and restaurant business. His ego is huge, ridiculous, and completely intact until Steve sends in a tape of him beating the world DK high score on a console he keeps in his garage. Following this believed impossible act, Billy descends into refusal, avoidance, and (possibly) cheating to preserve his reputation. Steve, on the other hand, is battling his own demons of unfulfilled potential, latent obsessive tendencies and a family who loves him but wishes he would just come out of the garage more often. It's easy to say Billy is the villain and Steve is the hero, but there is only one hero in Donkey Kong; Mario. And, to a lesser extent, the Princess. Where was I going with this? I forget.

My point is that King of Kong has all the elements of a classic story of epic struggle, and so makes for a fascinating film even if you've never played a video game in your life. There is the complex psyches of the warriors, the mix of awe, jealousy and resentment from the lesser competitors, the politics of the referee who must decide the victor, and the heartbreak of disappointment when dreams fall short. I cried with Steve when he was denied his initial high score, and I know I'm not the only person in that theatre who shed tears. I laughed many, many, many times and I am definitely not alone in that camp either. King of Kong, so help me, will make you actually care about video games and the people who play them.

You have to admit, the kid's got game. Referee Walter Day checks out Steve's progress with the barrels and the fireballs and the angry, angry monkey.
Director Seth Gordon is unobtrusive but complete in his footage. There is a particularly nice segment detailing Steve's compulsions from drumming, to football, to making detailed diagrams of DK stages. It is one of the most illustrative representations of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder I've ever seen. And the musical score is ironic, hilarious, and dead on cue. When you hear Leonard Cohen start to growl about how everybody knows the good guys lost, you will be amazed by how well it fits this film. The plot is on the sprawling side, and the editing suffers with a few loose threads of promising gamers who never get to finish their story. There is also the problem of the coda to the film being printed words instead of actual footage an invested audience would love to see. Still, even with these problems I'm giving The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters 5 out of 5. It should really be a 4.5, but I'm a complete nerd so I'm giving it some extra love.

More Human than Human

2007-11-19T13:03:00.000-05:00

If I were any good at blogging, I would have posted this last week. However, there is still time to catch the final, final, THIS TIME WE MEAN FINAL cut of Blade Runner here in Toronto at the Regent Theatre. This is, (as far as I can tell) the only chance to see the remastered cut on the big screen in Canada. I saw it last weekend and it kicked ass. It kicked replicant ass. The picture quality was amazing, and the score totally blew me away. The Regent is a single screen theatre so they can really crank the sound. Also, I give the whole experience bonus points because I saw Atom Egoyan coming out of the early show.

So go to the Regent (on Mount Plesant near Davisville) before Blade Runner leaves this Friday. I would give a review of the film, but most of you know the film and if you're a fan you will not be disappointed. I'll also say that this review is exactly the opposite of how I feel. In this review (posted in a national paper no less) the reviewer is under the impression that only meta nerds will want to see Blade Runner's final cut. He also thinks that experiencing Blade Runner "ironically" is best, because God forbid you try to stretch your mind a bit and see it as having a message beyond "hey, look at the gay android in the rain, heh, heh".

Visions of a future dystopian society? There's a Visine for that.
If you do decide to go, please note that it's not a good idea to bring your ten year old to see Blade Runner. It's a heavy movie, and I got pretty tired of hearing the kid in front of me ask his dad "is he dead?" every ten minutes during the screening. Seriously dude. Leave the kid at home next time.

Um, should we be scared by this?

2007-10-17T14:39:00.000-04:00

I'm not trying to turn this into a political blog. I get enough politics watching and writing about documentaries. I'd prefer to discuss books, video games and spooky old movies starring Vincent Price AND Peter Cushing ("MADHOUSE" in case you're interested, and believe me, you are interested). Still, there are times when I read the newspaper and something strikes me as so politically cra-zay I need to write my thoughts down to you, an audience of at least eleven people. Here I go, and please try not to let my eloquence forever sway your opinion of certain Canadian politicians.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper has been working for months on a brand new, top-secret media building to be built on the site of a former shoe shop. At the cost of 2 million dollars, the facility would be completely government controlled, allowing Harper's staff to choose which reporters are allowed in, what topics they may discuss, and possibly whether they are to address him as "Mr. Prime Minister" or "Senior Overlord Fantastico". The endeavour is called The Shoe Store Project because Operation Press can Suck It was a bit too obvious.

Everyone knows that Harper has a beef with the press, and indeed he's avoided much contact with them so far. Well, maybe those pesky Ottawa reporters had it coming and maybe the current National Press Theatre was getting outdated and had awful shag carpeting or something. I still don't think that's an excuse to go all evil genius on the Canadian people and start building your own media compound. The documents on the proposed facility state a desire to "put in place robust physical and information security measures to protect the prime minister and cabinet". Here's an artistic rendition of what I think The Shoe Store Project may look like, if it indeed ever sees the light of day:

Originally I was going to have Harper exploding out of the building like Godzilla, pulling trees out of the ground and breathing fire. Then I realised he's my Prime Minister and deserves better treatment. Also, I can't draw worth corn.
Oh my God what a chilling vision of the future! Look at that grey brick work, moat, and guards shooting freaking laser beams at innocent citizens. That, my friends, is what I call subtle political satire. If you gave me ten minutes before dinner and a package of pencil crayons I could hardly produce something more evocative and moving.

Is The Shoe Store Project going to become a reality? Well, since the Toronto Star uncovered the story, the Harper government has been quick to say that it was all just a bunch of silly research and will not be completed. We'll see. I think it's a very interesting little story to follow, and I hope you enjoyed my completely biased and half baked opinion on this subject. If you disagree with me, good for you! Post your comments. Unlike in Harper's shoe shop, I value freedom of speech in all its forms.

Doc Soup Heats Up

2007-10-01T13:36:00.000-04:00

Alternate titles for the post:

Grab a Spoon and some Righteous Indignation - Doc Soup is On!

Doc Soup: Now with 20% more vitamin TRUTH.

Eh, I amuse myself at least. My point is that the Doc Soup 2007 season begins October 3rd and it's not too late to buy a subscription. I think the Doc Soup / Hot Docs combo is one of the best movie deals in town; 7 Doc Soup screenings plus your choice of 10 Hot Docs screenings for only $140 plus tax. That's six dollars a ticket or something. What am I, a calculator? All I know is that it's a lot cheaper than going to TIFF or even seeing a regular Hollywood movie. Plus, only Doc Soup makes the long, cold winter even more depressing with monthly screenings about people throwing themselves off bridges, or (spot the theme!) joining a cult and commiting mass suicide.

I love docs, but when February (that darkest and bleakest of months) arrives, is it so difficult to screen a documentary about kittens running through meadows? Maybe a feature about happy people playing ukelales? This year's Doc Soup kicks off with the "inside story" about the American occupation in Iraq. The film is called No End in Sight, so, you know, I'm expecting a barrel of laughs.

I kid, I kid. I really do look forward to Doc Soup every year and I'm sure this first feature will give me plenty to reflect on and cry about next time I get depressed about the state of the world. Okay, I'm still kidding. Depression is a comedy goldmine! I've heard some really good things about No End in Sight, and I will share my thoughts about the film very soon.

Check out the Doc Soup website to find info on buying single tickets, or passes for the whole Doc Soup season.

Arrr Mateys! Ahoy there!... and such

2007-09-19T19:28:00.000-04:00

September 19th is not just the day before I finally get my hair cut. Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. You read that right. Nerds who desperately want a pirate's life of scurvy, and sailing from flea infested harbour to herpes infested wench now have their own magical day. So there you go. What's next? Smurf Appreciation Week? Ninja Day? According to Wikipedia, Ninja Day already exists. It’s creators were inspired by ITLAPD. And that, my friends, is why the internet will truly be the death of us all.

Making fun of people who love pirates is like picking on people who think they are vampires. At first it's easy to ridicule these outcasts with their strange talking, dressing, rum/blood drinking habits. Soon, however, you begin to feel bad because you realize how close you are to your prey. We are all part of the greater nerd hierarchy and we all have a place. One nerd's sword collection is another nerd's goth poetry. Can't we all be socially awkward together?

So instead of taunts, today I am offering an olive branch and snappy eye patch to pirates everywhere. I'm going to talk like a pirate - at least at home with my cat. In fact, I'm renaming Oscar "Ye Old Scurvy Land Rat" until tomorrow. Pirates are pretty cool, at least the movie ones that wear outrageous hats and spend pieces of eight. Also, the people who created this day were featured in a truly awesome episode of Wife Swap (your new husband thinks he's a pirate! Good luck getting him to pay the phone bill!). In celebration of... ugh... pirattitude...I offer my favourite pirate things. Enjoy them with loved ones. Unless your loved ones are normal people. Then ditch that boring family, because it's pirate day matey!

Cassandra’s List of Pirate Treasures! (get it?!)
1 - Parrots on your shoulder! Did the birds poop on the pirates? Did the pirates even care?

2 - The pirate simulation game Tropico 2. A friend gave it to me based on a brief conversation and a general feeling that I would like to spend hours pretending I'm a pirate. He was right! I love this game.

3 - The sailor / pirate on Family Guy who has two peg legs and two peg arms. That guy is hard core.

4 - The Styrofoam pirate hat my pal Stephanie made during dinner one night at our University cafeteria. It was an inverted soup bowl with a skull drawn on it. She’s no Martha Stewart but that hat was the cat's meow. Or the pirate’s' wench.

5 - Three words: Captain Freaking Blood. Oh my God. Errol Flynn IS Captain Blood. The original posters proclaimed "6 feet 4 of fighting manhood!", and they were so SO right. This is the best pirate movie ever. It has horrible French accents, sword fights, booty, and just a dash of slavery.

Captain Blood is good, but Captain Levasseur is OUTRAGEOUSLY French!
6 - The band Ghost Pirates Without Heads. That name totally says "I wear horn rimmed glasses and Green Latern tee-shirts ironically. Here's a song I wrote about watching TV, which I also do ironically."

7 - The trailers for the Pirates of the Caribbean movies that just said "PIRATES!" over and over again until I had to laugh and clap my hands like a happy monkey.

8 - Pirate monkeys... Okay, now I'm just doing word association.

Enjoy this stupid day nerds! Arrr!

TTC, ya you know me.

2007-09-12T15:47:00.000-04:00

Today was supposed to be relatively quiet in the office, and between registering patients I was going to research the recent TTC (Toronto Transit Commission) funding crisis and write an informed, opinionated piece on this worthy subject. Once I sat down at work, however, fate took a hand and the phone began ringing off the hook with people who wanted to know where their contact lenses were, why I was booking so far ahead, and if I thought it was fair that OHIP no longer covered eye exams. The afternoon culminated in a surprise almost appointment with diva chanteuse Sarah Brightman. Unfortunately, her handlers "couldn't find her" (damn you phantom! Leave that woman alone!) and I was left to imagine what witty things I would have said to the woman who married the man who brought us Cats. I have "I Lost My Heart To A Starship Trooper" on my iPod, so a cleaver Hot Gossip reference could have at least started the conversation.

In a perfect world, this would have been the theme song for the Paul Verhoeven film Starship Troopers. Am I right people? Eh? Eh?!...
Whoo hoo! Bugs!
At the end of my slightly surreal day I had no energy nor time left to research my piece. Then I remembered - hey! This is the internet! No one researches, or in my case reads, what I write anyway. This is a blog. I could say Britney Spears owns sixteen cats and named them all after snack cakes and no one would care. It's the wild west and anything goes baby! So here's what I think about the TTC funding crisis, based mostly on thirty second CP24 updates, and heavily influenced by last nights Family Guy episode where Peter gets hired by the news to do a nightly segment called "You Know What Really Grinds my Gears". Enjoy.

You know what really grinds my gears?! The TTC. Hey, don't get me wrong, I use the TTC. I use it every day and whether it's getting up to let old people have my seat, or MINDING THE GAP that could (presumably) swallow me whole, I am a pretty considerate transit rider. I take the subway, the bus and the streetcar. I read the free newspaper and then when I'm done I carry it out and recycle that bad boy like a good citizen. Don't tell me I don't know transit.

So the TTC is freaking out yet again about funding. Not enough money. Never mind that the TTC is more popular than ever, there's still not enough money to keep the rockets rolling. Mayor Miller's land transfer tax was shut down and now the only other option (apparently) is to cancel bus lines, route extensions, and shut down an entire arm of the subway. The new Sheppard line to be exact. The part of the subway they just paid billions of dollars to dig out and build less than ten years ago. Brilliant.

If they close the Sheppard line, how are the good people of Toronto supposed to get to IKEA? Won't somebody think of the children?!
But here's the part that really ... um... cranks my stereo. All this commotion and fear mongering is really a political ploy to get provincial leaders now running for the fall election to promise Toronto more funding. Libraries and community centres are closing on off days for the same reason. Now I'm not saying we don't need the money. I'm saying where the hell did the money go, and what are our options? Mayor Miller's strong arm tactics to get his tax plan accepted does little to explain why we're in this mess to begin with. I know the funding crisis is not entirely his fault, and I know Toronto has been in the red for years, but I feel a little too manipulated by political forces who are quick to point the finger at each other while leaving the public in the dark. And without library books.

But back to the TTC. The icing on this whole messy cake is the stance taken by TTC officials that the reason we are going to get even more over crowded bus rides home (otherwise known as "the groping hour"), and fewer convenient stops is because we, the paying public, bought too many monthly passes when we should be buying single fares. That's right. We're to blame for the funding problems because of our blasted basic math skills. Do you know that a single ride on the TTC costs $2.75? Round trip is over five bucks. A monthly pass is still just under $100. It's not a huge savings, but for regular commuters the deal is obvious. The TTC has increased fares multiple times since I moved to Toronto five years ago. We keep paying and rider ship keeps increasing. Instead of the customer is always right, the TTC seems to think the customer is the only reason why they can't make a decent profit.

So, to summarise, the faulty logic of the TTC is to cut routes, schedules and service. Thus, commuters get longer wait times, crowded trains, and less convenience for a price that is more expensive than other cities of similar size. This leads to fewer commuters on the TTC, and more cars congesting our roads and air. OR, and here's the wacky idea from a kid with no economics background at all, the TTC could keep all services, expand routes that are in desperate need, and charge more for a monthly pass. The TTC just finished a survey of users and found most people wanted a fare increase over decreased service. We're asking to pay more so that we can keep using the TTC. Take advantage of our good will!

In summary of the summary: TTC should charge more and get more money from provincial powers without cutting service, and Mayor Miller should back off with his land transfer tax and start giving the people of Toronto other options. Or just instigate the damn tax if you really want. I rent an apartment so I won't even have to pay the tax. I'm too poor to own a house in this city, what with the cost of daily transit.

Also in summation - Starship Troopers is an awesome movie and should be seen by everyone.
And that's what really grinds my gears.

The Eyes of Tammy Faye Review

2007-08-22T16:30:00.000-04:00

Oh dear. It has been a very long time since I wrote a review. This was supposed to be a topical review to tie in with the death of Tammy Faye Messner, who passed after to a long battle with cancer on July 20th. I was sad to hear Tammy Faye had died but I wasn't sure why I cared. Would I miss her camp appeal? Her appearances on The Surreal Life? I didn't know much about her ministry with Jim Bakker, but I knew she was at the centre of the controversy that painted televangelists as greedy and corrupt scam artists. Was Frank Zappa right? Did Jesus think Tammy Faye was a jerk? With so many vague impressions of Tammy Faye in my head, I figured the best idea was to rent the 2000 documentary "The Eyes of Tammy Faye".

The Eyes of Tammy Faye
(USA, Directed by Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato)

Tammy Faye was many things to many people. Starting life as a country girl, she married Jim Bakker and worked incredibly hard to bring their brand of cheery Christianity to the masses. She rose to the heights of fame, influence and hero worship, then fell the great distance to laughing stock. She wore too much make up and talked in a falsetto voice. She was a distant mother who became addicted to pain killers. Eventually, she found redemption in a second marriage, the acceptance of her new fans, and a calculated return to the spotlight. Was Tammy Faye everything she appeared to be? Was it an act or was she, at the heart, who we saw on TV?

The Eyes of Tammy Faye premiered at the Sundance Film Festival in 2000 to a widely enthusiastic response. At the time, the defunct position on Tammy Faye (and indeed most millionaire evangelists), was disgust and a desire for sweet, vengeful comeuppance. All of Tammy Faye's mascara coloured tears could not sway popular opinion that she deserved humiliation, yet many people changed their minds after seeing this film. The documentary presents Tammy Faye as a big hearted, emotional, and at worst naive woman. She is extravagant and self centred, but also honest in her desire to embrace everyone in true Christian fellowship. Specifically, filmmakers Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato present Tammy Faye as a defender of the homosexual community. As a very early advocate for AIDS awareness, Tammy Faye embraced HIV positive patients when very few (inside or outside the evangelical world) would do so. Drag queen extrodinarre Rupaul narrates the film, emphasising the correlation the directors wanted to stress between Tammy Faye and her adoring, and now largely homosexual, fan base.

Tammy Faye herself appears unwaveringly strong in her convictions. She really does want you to know that God loves you. Her ability to look directly in the camera and simply emote is quite mesmerising. In older footage from her shows with Jim Bakker, Tammy Faye weeps and sings and praises the Lord for hours a day and you cannot help but be impressed with her showmanship. With the exception of some funny scenes where she's hepped up on painkillers and wandering off set, Tammy Faye gave her audience everything she had to give. Off set, and in the confines of her present day home, she presents the same larger than life persona. The voice, the clothes, the mascara - everything is the same. The directors are keen to push the camp value of their subject, whither its her collection of creepy (and omnipresent) dolls, to her expansive makeup bag. Tammy Faye as spectacle is completely entwined with Tammy Faye as person. If it was all an act I doubt even Tammy Faye could tell the difference anymore.

The Eyes of Tammy Faye is an example of a mass appeal documentary. The puppets that present different acts in Tammy Faye's life are clever but outstay their welcome. Repetition and heavy use of source footage also give the film a somewhat amateur effect. I found the sequence of Tammy Faye at the huge, and completely deserted, Heritage USA theme park to be some of the most effective scenes in the film. I had no idea the Bakkers had built, and lost, so much. It is positively eerie to see where pride and money can lead. I wished the film had spent more time here than on yet another scene of Tammy Faye's long red fingernails typing out a letter. Perhaps I cannot criticise the film for not following my personal interests, but it felt like The Eyes of Tammy Faye shunned higher discourse for campy thrills. Ultimately, the film proves to be as colourful, but about as deep, as Tammy Faye's makeup.
3.5 out of 5.

** You can check out photographs of Heritage USA past, present and possibly future at this site.

Is this the greatest magazine cover ever?

2007-07-30T09:58:00.000-04:00

My answer is yes.

There I was at the 7-11 with my Slurpee (or as it is now delightfully labeled, my Squishee), when Anson plopped this magazine down in front of me. I looked at it for a second before understanding the glorious image before my eyes.

Martha. Orange. Wii Cake. Martha icing a Wii Cake. Oh my God.

I didn't even know that this was the very thing I wanted, no, needed to see. It's like some part of my brain had this image already composed, and it had been plucked out and printed just to make me happy. I bought the magazine on the merits of this cover alone. I didn't really need to know how to bake a Wii cake, or how to email like a pro (do I email like a noob?), I just needed to own this image. And frame it. And love it.

Thank you Wired. What will you delight me with next issue? Nathan Fillion with a collection of Pez dispensers? Custom Miis based on Star Trek TNG characters? The possibilities are endless.

A Tribute to Honest Ed

2007-07-11T13:38:00.000-04:00

Honest Ed Mirvish passed away yesterday morning at the age of 92. He left a wife and son, a rejuvenated theatre district, a huge discount store that lights up Bathurst, and a legacy of giving out free turkeys at Christmas. I'm going to miss Honest Ed.

It's hard to know what to say about Ed that won't be said in the news anyway. He worked his way up from scratch and didn't let early failures dissuade him. He saved and rebuilt the theatre district in Toronto. He pioneered the "loss leader" merchandise, and his store sold those awesome, slightly warped Elvis busts you used to see everywhere. He was generous, and humble, and gave everyone free cake at his birthday party. He was a ballroom dancer, and he stayed married to his true love for 65 years.

Most of all, Ed wanted people to be happy. He made lots of money, sure, but he let us enjoy the success with him. He sold two for one tickets to his theatre shows on mother's day. He built affordable restaurants to give families a complete "night out" when they went to see a show. His huge discount store is not only the place to find marked down tupperware and strange, exotic canned goods; it also houses piles of slightly demented porcelain dogs, and groan-out-loud slogans like "Honest Ed is for the Birds! He's CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP!" How can you shop in Honest Ed's and not have fun?

A few years ago I attended Ed's birthday party with my husband. The day was hot, and the crowds were huge along the closed streets. Although the atmosphere could have bred impatient words and disgruntled families, everywhere I looked people were smiling and happy. We waited half an hour for a free hot dog but it was fun! Kids were running around with balloons, and a live band kept our feet tapping. I saw people from many different cultures that day, and heard snippets from dozens of different languages. Everyone was invited to share the joy of Ed’s carefree street party. Ed arrived and we sang him happy birthday. He was so warm and gracious even at his advanced age and under the hot sun. He was the perfect host and made us all feel like welcome friends. I wish I had a chance to meet him personally, but I feel like I knew him anyway.

Ed was a character and a true eccentric. We don't get many of them, and I'm grateful he made Toronto his home. He will be missed but not forgotten.

Nintendo and Kidman - Together at Last!

2007-06-27T09:12:00.000-04:00

I'm interested in gaming culture, and Nintendo in particular. Ever since the first NES (which I had after the Atari 2600 - yes I'm that old), Nintendo has been the only game system I've really played. Recently, the marketing for the Wii has proven very effective in attracting non-gamers by focusing on intuitive gameplay the whole family can enjoy together. Now Nintendo is focusing their brand of non-offensive fun on the upscale, wealthy and plastic looking housewives market. Between pilates class and picking your kid up from Mandarin lessons, why not pencil in some time to exercise your brain? Enter Nicole Kidman with her glowing porcelain skin and immaculate white home, to demonstrate the DS and the "Brain Training" series of games:

Doesn't that look like fun? She may resemble a Stepford wife (and act like one complete with head-smacking cutesy gestures) but Nicole sure does classy up the DS. Now it's an intellectual tool and not just that thing you give to the kids on long car trips to make them shut up. This new, polished, and oh-so-dignified gamer is much more attractive than the grubby ten year olds and single dudes game companies used to court. Bravo, Nintendo, for honing in on the female market as well. Us girl gamers have been playing since the beginning, but few companies have recognised the huge profit potential in piquing our interest.

So does this mean I'll be buying a DS? Probably not. I don't feel wealthy or European enough to relate to the Nicole Kidman / Nintendo fantasy. Besides, Nintendo had me from Mario. I might try the equivalent game on the Wii, but for handheld fun I’ll stick to my Limited Edition Retro Designed Gameboy Advance SP. Yeah, you read that right. It looks like an original NES controller and plays classics like Excitebike and Pinball. I keep it in a Spongebob Squarepants protective case. Jealous yet? Don’t worry. It’s never too late to join the cool kids on the Nintendo side of the street.

Free Afternoon + Geese = My Second Youtube Video!

2007-06-12T17:16:00.000-04:00

A few weeks ago I went to Richmond, BC to visit my in laws. While enjoying the beautiful sunny skies, readily available bubble tea, and walking through one of Richmond's loveliest parks, we happened upon a family of Canada Geese. Mama and Papa geese were there, along with a handful of cute, fuzzy goslings. I was quick to pull out my still digital camera and fill up my card with short, low resolution films of baby geese waddling around and swimming. I actually erased footage of humans so I could keep films of baby geese that will in all likelihood grow up to crap all over that same park and ruin the lawn. Oh well, such is the artistic temperament. Mixed with a healthy dose of lazy afternoon and cold beer, I present my second YouTube movie. Enjoy.

You may now return from the edge of your seats.

The ending was where I really let myself go and truly explored my inner desire to see geese swimming into themselves. I used to repress my film student geekiness but now I figure I'm almost thirty so I should just give up on being cool. I learned a few things while making this short. Number one: don't bother with titles because you won't be able to read them anyway. Number two: whatever happened to the circle wipe? That's at least half a style point right there and it's never used anymore. Number three: mirror effect is cool, but so is the lightening effect that I could have used to actually aim lightening at the geese and make it look like God was striking them down. Perhaps next time.

I hope this new offering evokes a response. My last YouTube video finally got a comment. The discerning viewer said (and I quote) "HUH?". All caps. Like he was really confused. Thank you ShadowSeeker117 for your valuable input. I'll try to make myself better understood in the future.

Hot Docs Ends (and I'm still sick of popcorn)

2007-05-11T17:17:00.000-04:00

I'm taking a break from all the reviews I've been writing - diligently, like some kind of blog hero - to write my impressions of the 2007 Hot Docs festival. I saw nine screenings this year, and this was my fifth year as a festival attendee. I appreciate all the hard work that goes into planning a festival of this magnitude (largest doc festival in North America), but in the interest of honest feedback I offer the following thoughts. Here's what I think could improve, and what should stay the same:

- Perhaps it's time to exclusively book big venues. I like the Bloor, and thank God the Royal has reopened, but please tell me what's up with the Al Green theatre. I thought it would be a really soulful, funky venue named after Love and Happiness Al Green. ~~Instead, I think it was named after the guy who owns my apartment complex.~~ (This has been proven wrong. This Al Green is actually a Toronto area sculptor and philanthropist). The venue is smaller and the screen is twenty feet away from the front seats. The worst part, however, is the seat construction. All the seats are connected on a bleacher like structure. Everytime someone goes to the bathroom their descent down the stairs shakes your row and creates a lot of noise. It's pretty distracting when you're trying (desperately) to stay interested in Village of Socks.

The Two "Al Green"s. Brothers from different mothers?

- It's great to see the Royal open again, but what's with these concession prices? Seven dollars for popcorn and soda? Whoa there. If I wanted to pay ridiculous prices for sugar, salt and corn I'd go to the multiplex and see Spiderman. Royal's seats are pretty wicked though. I love the slight springing action.

- People's choice ballots are printed on the back of your ticket! Great idea. Good for the environment and easy to use.

- Here's an ad you see before every single Hot Docs screening: Guy sits in empty theatre eating popcorn and watching movie. You hear the movie audio of a mosquito, a cow mooing, and then a woman screaming. Guy's head explodes into bad CGI goo. Cue the caption, "Vote for the movie that BLOWS YOUR MIND". Then (finally, thankfully) the ad is over. Now, first of all what kind of documentary is this guy watching with cows and women screaming? Secondly, if my head exploded it wouldn't look anything like that. Finally, isn't this the 27th year this never-funny ad has been forced upon us? If we promise to vote will you please stop making us watch this with every screening? By the end of the festival I was really tired of watching that guy's head explode. Really tired.

- Jewish Film Festival, where were you? I was looking forward to a pickle on a stick while I waited in line. That was the best marketing gimmick I've ever seen - and so delicious!

- I missed not having a guest director with a retrospective and evening discussion. Hot Docs is where I got to see Errol Morris explain why his monkeys-eating-oatmeal commercial was the best thing he's ever done. Last year Werner Herzog made me love him all over again when he introduced My Best Fiend as "my most tragic film and my most hilarious film". I know this year there was a documentary panel discussion, but that wasn't announced until after I had already picked films and settled on a schedule. It was such a treat to see a master film maker's lesser known (and hardly ever screened) work. I hope this was a temporary substitution and next year we'll see a return to retrospectives. Hell, bring back Herzog and I'd be happy.

Werner Herzog pals around with Klaus Kinski in My Best Fiend

Finally, a big thank you to the always cheerful volunteers who helped me find seats and washrooms. Thank you to the programmers for shifting through thousands of entries to come up with their impressive selection, and a huge thank you to Hot Docs powers-that-be for keeping ticket prices affordable. I recommend this festival to anyone that will listen, but obviously it's doing well even without my awesome power over public opinion. I look forward to another season of Doc Soup starting in the fall, and Hot Docs 2008!

Citizen Sam Review

2007-05-07T13:00:00.000-04:00

Citizen Sam
(Canada, directed by Joe Moulins)

Citizen Sam is a verite style documentary about quadriplegic Mayoral candidate Sam Sullivan and his bid to become mayor of Vancouver, BC. The film follows Sullivan's whole campaign journey from unsteady start, to frustrating setbacks, to victorious conclusion. In another director's hands Sullivan's disability may have been the basis of a sugary, violin scored, "underdog does good" story. Thankfully, neither Joe Moulins' direction nor Sam Sullivan's character allows the film to devolve into sentimental tripe. Sam Sullivan is first and foremost a politician with a fiery determination to win an election. He has right wing views and an almost Machiavellian glee about vanquishing his enemies. He is smart about whom he courts (speaking Cantonese and Mandarin really helps), and he glad hands and follows the interview circuit with the best of them. I admired the film's ability to be both keen political observation and developed character study. Sam Sullivan is not your average politician in more ways than one.

"I like the fact that people underestimate me. They pat me on the head and then I rip their throat out." - Sam Sullivan, Mayor with an attitude

The realities of Sullivan's disability are not ignored, nor are they always comfortable to watch. Brushing his teeth, dressing for work, even taking a bath all become intimate scenes from Sullivan's life that the camera records with patient passivity. The film avoids any spoken comment on Sullivan's disability in favour of showing its role in how Sullivan performs day to day tasks. This objectivity makes the disability understood without feeling manipulative or preachy. Over all the bumps along the campaign trail Sullivan also keeps a video diary. In his entries we see a side of politics rarely revealed as Sullivan speaks honestly about his struggles with panic, anger, frustration and simple lack of confidence. It's fascinating to watch a politician speak openly about the lure and danger of power. The film perhaps does a disservice to Sullivan's political opponent Jim Green, who spends much of the film ducking out of interviews and avoiding eye contact. After the screening, director Joe Moulins said that Green was not a bad guy, but rather had the unenviable task of attacking "the guy in the chair". It also doesn't help that Green looks like some kind of 1930s mob boss. Still, Citizen Sam would have been a stronger political study if they had offered an interview with Green to balance the political representation.

Citizen Sam is an inspiring film, and I mean that sincerely and without my usual sarcasm. I didn't feel sorry for Sam Sullivan and I'm not even sure I would vote for him. I did, however, find the love between him and his partner emotionally resonant and affecting. I found Sam Sullivan's determination and drive admirable, and his emotional conflicts honest. The last segment of the film will stay with me long after the screening, and needless to say it made me very proud to be a Canadian. The film is simply but effectively directed, with accolades to editor Carmen Pollard who transformed hundreds of hours of footage into a smartly paced political story with effective highs and lows. Citizen Sam is an NFB production. It will be airing on the CBC and I would highly recommend it. 4.5 out of 5

Village of Socks Review

2007-05-02T12:23:00.000-04:00

Village of Socks
(Romania/Germany, directed by Ileana Stanculescu)

Every year at Hot Docs I see a film or two from another part of the world. Sure, I like North American films as much as the next girl, but you don't feel like you've truly appreciated a documentary festival until you've seen a slice of life from somewhere far away. This year (2007), Hot Docs focused their "International" titles on Central and Eastern Europe. Village of Socks, a slow moving observational documentary about the remote Transylvanian village of Viscri fits the bill.

If you like films about cows walking through muddy streets, starkly beautiful hillsides or watching women knit then do I have a movie for you. Village of Socks explores a remote town where economic recession and inclusion in the European Union has left residents unable to modernize and without sustainable income. Enter a German musician who moves into the town and sets up a sock knitting business. Everyday all the women and girls in the village pull out their wool (sheared from their own sheep) and knit clothing to sell at the local tourist gift shop and in stores across Europe. As the women knit they trade barbs about proper stitch count, useless husbands, and the nagging problem of late paycheques. Director Ileana Stanculescu keeps a very patient camera on all the members of the community. From unemployed husbands and lost sons, abrasive nurses and a German woman who exalts the beauty of the region, Stanculescu is complete enough in her representation you feel like you have lived in the village yourself.

Village of Socks is definitely not for everyone but it does reward the viewer who can settle down and watch one camera interviews and logical but slow paced editing. Sometimes Stanculescu overestimates her footage and holds scenes for longer than the audience enjoys (prompting greater than average incidents of watch checking during the screening). The larger topics of female empowerment and globalization are the elephants in the room and never addressed directly. After some documentaries where I was told what the think and feel with the obvious cues of a newscast, I appreciate Village of Socks for its simplicity and quiet beauty. It didn't rock my world, but who goes to a film called "Village of Socks" expecting to be blown out of their seat? 3 out of 5

**I just realized I could have fit in something about "knocking my socks off" but I guess I'll spare you the bad pun. "Sock it to me", and prodigious use of the word "darn" would have also worked. Good thing I don't have time to rewrite this review.

A Walk Into the Sea: Danny Williams And The Warhol Factory Review

2007-04-30T12:15:00.000-04:00

Ah, Hot Docs is over. So sad to say goodbye to another year. I'll talk more about my general reactions to this year's festival in a near future post but for now I have to get back to business. Six more films to review and I'm woefully behind!

A Walk Into The Sea: Danny Williams And The Warhol Factory
(2007, directed by Esther B Robinson)

Danny Williams is virtually unknown today, even among those who are familiar with Andy Warhol and his factory of artists and influential friends. A Walk Into the Sea's director, Esther B Robinson, is Williams' niece. At the heart of the film is a search by Robinson to uncover her uncle's films and piece together a narrative about who Williams was and what happened before he mysteriously disappeared in 1966. Through sheer tenacity, Robinson scores interviews with key Factory members like Brigid Berlin and Billy Name. The interviews are mostly interesting as everyone has a different version of events; sometimes the subjects disagree with each other because they never paid much attention to Williams quietly toiling in the film suites or shooting movies around the factory. Sometimes they were too busy trying to win favour with Warhol to notice the nice man who didn't demand attention. Sometimes the subjects cannot remember simply because they were doing too many drugs. In any case it can be a treat to watch them reminisce. Recollections from artists, family members and Warhol historians form the basis for the detective story. Although we meet many eccentric and creative characters along the way, the larger question of Danny Williams remains unsolved.

Danny Williams and the Bolex Camera he Borrowed from Andy Warhol
Any real information about Williams' personality and work arises from his recently discovered short experimental films. The black and white films (shot and edited in Warhol's Bolex camera) reveal all the main players of the Warhol factory through strobe lighting effects, flash editing, and high contrast, haunting images of smiles and grimaces. The short films of Danny Williams are really the reason to watch this documentary, and Robinson wisely includes one in its entirety. Williams was undoubtedly a master of lighting effects (he also did the stage lighting for Velvet Underground concerts), and his position as a Factory outsider and perhaps spurned lover of Andy Warhol permeates his silent images. Robinson, perhaps influenced by her uncle, also tries her hand at experimental film making but her style becomes demanding and ineffective at times. It's a very fine line between experimental visuals that challenge the viewer to think and react, and turning the "atmosphere" dial to eleven. Unfortunately, the film becomes laboured and repetitive as it follows the Danny Williams story to a vague conclusion. This film is recommended for those interested in experimental film making, photography or Andy Warhol. For anyone else, the long journey may not be worth the effort. 3.5 out of 5.

Dreamworld & My Second Life Reviews

2007-04-25T17:29:00.000-04:00

I could not resist the late night, gamer double bill of "Dreamworld" and "My Second Life". I've never played Second Life but I have spent more than a few nerdy hours in the World of Warcraft and the Sims. I understand the allure of an avatar and the excitement of joining an online community. Whereas WoW and Sims have, to some extent, game values and goals, Second Life is completely open-ended and a full "metaverse" unto itself. It was because of personal interest and curiosity that I struggled to stay awake through the midnight screenings. I think the effort was worth it. Here are my two short reviews for two short films.

Dreamworld

Patrick and Danielle are a Dutch couple who spend most of their evenings inside their box suburban home, sitting in computer carols, and living a fantasy through the massive online game "Second Life". The narrative follows the essentially sad attempt by Patrick to live beyond the game and meet some of his virtual girlfriends in the real world. After Patrick travels to America what follows is confusing, awkward and sometimes quite funny. There is a discussion on a motel bed between director Jorien Van Nes and Patrick, especially, that is one of the strangest interactions I've seen in a long time. While Patrick and Van Nes speak in Dutch, Patrick's two female "friends" giggle beside him, not understanding a word. The film's real life sequences are more surreal than the game, and the camera lingers on the pauses and awkwardness without becoming intrusive. Economical editing keeps the events in motion, while the simple visuals still manage to express the isolation of the characters as well as their complete immersion into the Second Life universe. Dreamworld is ultimately neither a sad film nor a particularly dramatic short, but it does say something about the human need for connection and reciprocated love. 4 out of 5.

My Second Life

My Second Life is billed as the world's first documentary shot entirely within the Second Life metaverse. Director Douglas Gayeton used carefully choreographed shots and voice over to create a narrative about a man named Molotov Alva who transcends his corporal body and enters the world of Second Life in search of its creator. Is this truly, as the summary states, a "documentary within a documentary, a high concept confounding of realities"? It's an experiment, and as someone who's tried to put together rudimentary narratives from other video games, I can attest that this short film represents hours and hours of work. The visuals are really quite well done and the many realms of Second Life are impressive. Alva's exploration of the game uncovers a village of animal avatars (or "furries"), an island where woman are voluntarily playing slaves, and a lovely snowy town where everyone dresses and acts like it's Elizabethan times. These places are the true (although virtual) elements of the film. The story, however, and the dialogue between characters remains very scripted and stiff in their repeated philosophical yearnings to "meet the creator". Especially pretentious is the use of quotations that presume to guide our vapid hero along the road to understanding. I might suggest this film to people particularly interested in video game culture, but even at 35 minutes it requires patience to stay interested. Maybe after six hours of screening docs I was too tired for an existential journey, but even with the truly interesting setting, My Second Life pondered too heavily and postulated too seriously for me to recommend. 2 out of 5.

Molotov Alva is ready with his camera in My Second Life

***Almost all the films I've watched at Hot Docs had the director in attendance for post screening Q&A and Douglas Gayeton, director of Second Life, was no exception. As his own summary notes, Second Life "challenges the definitions of documentary and reality", and is "a film certain to generate fervent debate." When you script a narrative and direct the actions in a video game, someone is bound to ask you how you can categorise this as documentary. When someone asked that very question, Mr. Gayeton took the microphone, paused, and defiantly stated "Because it's true". Then he gave this little "f___ off" shrug and passed the mic back to the moderator without further explanation. That was kind of awesome. Even better, I would have cheered if he had said "Because it's true", then held the microphone out and dropped it like in a rap battle and stormed off the stage (if you don't know what I mean just trust me that it would have been great). When someone later asked him "no, REALLY, how is this a documentary?", Mr. Gayeton accused us of being naive if we didn't know documentaries were edited and scripted. I admire that the director stood up for his work and did not grovel at the feet of public opinion, even if I didn't like his movie.***

Manufacturing Dissent Review

2007-04-23T17:06:00.000-04:00

Back again, just in time for your late morning "clicking and frowning so I look like I'm doing work" web surfing. Here's my thoughts on the critical doc about Michael Moore, Manufacturing Dissent.

Manufacturing Dissent
(Canada/Australia 2007, directed by Debbie Melnyk & Rick Caine)

Michael Moore is undoubtedly a polarising figure, even for us here in Canada who are not directly involved in American politics. Canadian directors Rick Caine and Debbie Melnyk begin their documentary claiming to be fans of Moore who want an interview with the larger than life figure. There are some questions, you see, about his methods and some accusations of outright lies. Although she doth protest, Melnyk's voice over gives away from almost the first moment that the innocent act is simply a narrative structure for what will be damning arguments against Moore and his films. I do not doubt much of the evidence raised by this film, however I was disappointed from the outset that Melnyk decided to push an ignorance of Moore that she obviously did not have by the end of her research. It's fine to learn things as you go in a documentary, but they should change your outlook and approach. When you hit the "oh shucks, I'm just an innocent Canadian" note one too many times it just feels like manipulation.

Caine and Melnyk follow Moore around the United States on his "Slacker Rebellion" campus tour. In public Moore proves to be a good showman, loud and obnoxious, as he gets the student body fired up about voting and hating President Bush. Interviews with Moore's old friends, business associates and critics greatly expands the discussion. For me these were the most entertaining and illuminating parts of the film. Moore's unique mix of media mogul / tyrannical boss / everyday slob gives plenty of good ammo for funny quips and recollections. Paranoid megalomaniac or tireless crusader? Perhaps Moore is both. The film also makes good use of Moore's inability to confront criticism. Moore makes lame excuse after lame excuse as to why he cannot do an interview with Melnyk, and then finally has his cronies kick the director out of a talk he is giving about free speech. The irony is perfect. For a man who spends a large amount of his on-screen time hounding his subjects and berating them into one sided arguments, Moore obviously has trouble under the scrutiny of the camera's critical eye.

Although I had difficulties with the essential tone of the film, the evidence presented of Moore's half truths and lies is still compelling. Footage cut out of context, hidden interviews, and plain old made up events are uncovered in Moore's entire body of work. For documentary fans the idea of selective editing is part and parcel to what we expect. Liberties are always taken to make real life more convenient to the story, and more interesting to the viewer. There is a line, however, between liberties and lies. I would have greater respect for "Manufacturing Dissent" if the film makers had chosen to be direct in their accusations. When they have a chance to confront Moore face to face they nod blankly and hide behind their polite Canadian personas. They use a method of accusation, clip that appears to support accusation, and final word to structure their entire argument. In the end, they use the same methods as Moore to win audience approval and limit the amount we will question. While Manufacturing Dissent was undoubtedly well intentioned, the film was weakened by manipulative direction that undermined the strong (but relatively few) concrete examples they had of Moore's deceptions. 3 out of 5

Last Call at the Gladstone Hotel Review

2007-04-23T13:57:00.000-04:00

Hooo boy, I'm getting a little tired of popcorn. Yesterday I saw three sets of movies, all in a row and all at the Bloor. From 5:50pm to 1:30am all activity consisted of waiting in line, buying snacks, and sitting on my butt for 2 plus hours. Rinse and repeat. My lower back is still complaining about crappy seats with not enough cushion (Bloor seats are so inferior to Royal). Tonight we take a breather and hang out at home. I think I'll avoid popcorn. Here's my review of "Last Call at the Gladstone Hotel".

Last Call at The Gladstone Hotel
(Canada, directed by Derreck Roemer & Neil Graham)

The stately corner facade of the Gladstone Hotel is a Toronto landmark. For better or for worse, Toronto's oldest continuously operational hotel has reflected the times and people who slept within its walls. Once it housed businessmen and upper class tourists, then like its Parkdale surroundings it declined and became a flop house and permanent residence for those living below the poverty line. Now, it has seen a transformation once again to unique art centre and boutique hotel. Amazingly, film makers Neil Graham and Derrek Roemer were there to capture this most recent transformation over the last five years and document how the residents of the Gladstone, as well as the hotel itself, changed almost completely. The larger question of gentrification, and the displacement of lower income neighbourhoods, remains at the heart of the film. The Gladstone serves as a microcosm for what is happening in urban centres around the world. Who is to blame when people can no longer afford their rent? Is it better to save a building or preserve a home? The film wisely offers no easy answers.

Directors Graham and Roemer were regular patrons of the Hotel Bar. They were filming in the late 90s when the Gladstone was a popular choice for locals who sought live music, cheap beer and a waiting staff "who weren't thinking about their acting careers". A shared appreciation of the hotel was the starting point for the duo to cultivate relationships with hotel staff and residents. Trust was earned and the casual camerawork reflects the sometimes unplanned conversations that were captured. Over the years the old owners had to sell, deals were made, and renovations on the building began. Then dramatically renovations stopped, business partnerships collapsed, and staff complained that the building was literally falling down on top of them. Through it all the camera recorded the heartbreak, anger and excitement from everyone involved. The film appeals as a terrific piece of drama. It draws you into individual lives and the struggle to survive. The long periods of time when little happens are condensed and the pace remains constant. This is not the most polished film, however, with both audio and picture quality sometimes on the rough side of verite.

In the end, a new day dawns for the Gladstone Hotel. It is bittersweet but the issues are too complex for anything but a mixed resolution. The future of the Gladstone, Parkdale and all of Toronto are left to the forces of economic evolution and human compassion. Who knows what changes the Gladstone will see in the next hundred years. 4 out of 5

Helvetica Review

2007-04-22T17:21:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm out the door to another documentary. No time to stay and chat, but I wanted to post a review of the first Hot Docs screening I saw last night - Helvetica. True to my prediction, it was honestly the most entertaining film I've ever seen about a font. Take that Times New Roman!

Helvetica
(UK 2007, directed by Gary Hustwit)

Who knew a documentary about a popular font would be so engaging? Everyone from artists and designers to average web users will find something fascinating in director Gary Hustwit’s first film. From the early history of the font, to Helvetica’s eventual dominance, the documentary confidently follows its narrow lead to expand on the bigger picture. After I saw the film I spent the rest of the evening playing a game of “spot the font”. There was Helvetica in all its round, approachable blandness directing me to the subway, or telling me about how to save on my phone bill, or where to put my garbage. Helvetica is all around us, and like a secret conspiracy uncovered, awareness of it changes the way you see the world.

The strength of the film lies in the passion of the type designers who praise or abhor the ubiquitous font. The men and women interviewed are very entertaining in a geeky eccentric sort of way. Some love the clean even strokes of Helvetica because it is the perfect representation of post WWII modern design. As one designer notes, it was a delicious cold drink of water after the arid dessert of 1950’s multi-font cornball visuals. Other just as impassioned designers scorn the use of Helvetica by big corporations and governments because its neutrality makes even dangerous messages palatable to the mass population. One woman puts it simply that when she started designing, Helvetica was the font of the government and therefore the font of the Vietnam war. It’s hard not to get a bit of a shiver after hearing these arguments and seeing The Gap, for instance, selling us “love” (written in Helvetica of course) with our jeans. Helvetica is the safe, familiar voice advertisers, government agencies and individual people use when they want everyone to listen.

Montages of busy city streets, clothing, IRS tax forms and everything in between really drives home the use of Helvetica in how we interpret the words we read. In general Hustwit keeps the pace brisk but some interviews go on a bit too long, and the history lesson on how Helvetica developed slows into a lecture. Excellent use of abstract rock music plays well with the images, and the cinematography owes a debt to the clean, high definition compositions of Luke Geissbuhler. The wider implications of Helvetica, and all fonts, is left for the viewer to contemplate after the credits end and we go back into the modern cluttered landscape. Helvetica remains after fifty years the most popular, accepted and utilised medium of written communication. If the medium is the message what does Helvetica say about us?
4 out of 5

Hot Docs Begins!

2007-04-19T18:15:00.000-04:00

Hot Docs 2007 will officially kick off with an opening gala tonight! It seems like only a few months have passed since last year's festival. My winter subscription to Doc Soup ensures that I see good documentaries on the big screen for at least half the year. I love my Doc Soup but the main event is really what gets the film nerd in me excited. This year Hot Docs anticipates a 25% increase in ticket sales (same as last year). That means bigger venues and longer lines. At least the weather may actually hold out and we can avoid the chilly wet cold that always seems to accompany the last week of April. As with every year I also anticipate eagerly enjoying buttery popcorn and Pepsi for the first 3.5 films. Then, inevitably, I get sick of it but keep eating popcorn because I don't have time for dinner and it's more filling than a chocolate bar. Also inevitably I end up going to the gym more frequently in early May.

My first film is not scheduled until Saturday evening which gives me a little time to brush up on my mad reviewing skillz. From Saturday until Sunday, April 29th we've scheduled ten films; most on the weekends. It is my fifth year attending Hot Docs. Next year perhaps I'll finally be able to do the full Festival Pass but for now I'm scheduled to work and I can't take the week off. One day I'm going to know the butt numbing bliss of watching five documentaries a day for ten days straight. Oh yes. My butt will be numb with happiness.

Anyway, another big improvement this year is the Hot Docs website which features an interactive schedule. I usually have to send an email out to film friends with my picks, but this year I can merely post a link to my personal Hot Docs schedule. Nice touch Hot Docs! In terms of film selection, well, this year doesn't have many "wow, I HAVE to see that" films for me. I am looking forward to watching Michael Moore get his comeuppance in "Manufacturing Dissent", and the strangely comedic take on global warming "Everything's Cool" sounds fantastic. "Last Call at the Gladstone Hotel" and "Let's All Hate Toronto" will be interesting because I live in Toronto, and the very popular but inconceivable "Helvetica" promises to be the most fascinating two hour film ever made about a font. I'm sure these and other selections will surprise me. Every year I choose films based on a paragraph summary and every year I'm impressed by something I didn't think I'd like all that much. Seeing a movie without an advertising campaign and a trailer that gives away the entire plot is one of the best parts of a film festival. You can just walk into a dark theatre and be taken somewhere you never thought you'd go.

Last minute seats are available to many Hot Docs screenings so check out last minute additions on the Hot Docs website. You can also view my personal festival schedule. Finally, keep checking Midnight Herring during the festival for updates and reviews. I'll be blogging so hard my fingers will get cramped. I'll be writing so much criticism I'll need a sarcasm injection. I'll be.... well, you get the picture.

Spiffy New Look

2007-04-09T08:19:00.000-04:00

Hi there. Welcome to Midnight Herring.net - version 2.0!

Super heartfelt thanks goes to Anson for helping integrate this blogger template with my new site design. Look ma! I've got labels! Also, thanks to some nerds for writing the code that makes the image at the top randomise every time the page loads. I didn't want to switch over to php and I appreciate this fix. There is still lots of content to add but the design is pretty solid. Please let me know if something looks really wonky on your system.

I know this site looks good on most versions of Safari & Foxfire on Macs, as well as Explorer, Netscape and Firefox on PCs. However, if you try to look at it on the now defunct Explorer for Macs browser it goes crazy and explodes across the screen in all-centred and all-green ugliness. I'll try to fix that but it's mostly blogger not talking to stupid old Mac Explorer so we'll see. Why are you using Explorer anyway? I'm afraid I have to pull out the patented eye roll and snort nerd combo if you think browser choice isn't, you know, really important.

So aside from an obvious lack of content on the "Documentary" section of the site we are up and running! I have big plans for the site and I look forward to giving it as much time and effort as my other labour of love, Folk Art Canada. In the coming days and weeks I will undoubtedly change a few things around so please bear with me. Reload reload reload and empty your cache if you want to keep up with the blazing speed of our improvements. Plus, when you reload the page you get a new photo! What will it be? Paris? My cat? Me in a sombrero? All excellent and exciting options!

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you like the new and constantly improving MHP site!

A Bit of the Old Ultra Violence: My Thoughts on 300

2007-03-23T13:02:00.001-04:00

It’s a departure for me to talk about a fictional film, especially when I have an excellent documentary to review, but I feel 300 has sparked too much conversation to ignore. Since its huge opening last weekend people all over the internet are rising up against this fantastical, highly violent tale. I’m not going to review the plot (what’s to say? 300 Spartans hold off thousands of Persians between a rock and a hard place), but I feel compelled to give my impressions. I was eagerly anticipating this movie when I saw it with a bunch of hyped up fanboys on opening night. I was not disappointed.

First off let me say that yes, it is not a good idea to bring your child to see 300. Do not let your adolescent or even young teenager see 300. That R rating comes with solid reason. The film is very graphically brutal and offers an unapologetic pro-war and pro-violence stance. The audience is meant to cheer on the Spartan soldiers and relish their every decapitation and spear impalement. This is a morally ambiguous film in the vein of Clockwork Orange or Sin City. We know the men on screen are brutal monsters, but oh such fun watching them kill! These films expect a certain amount of age and maturity from their audience. 300 also puts all the violence squarely in another time, another place, and a completely computer fabricated world. It’s sort of like an anime, expect the fifteen year old girl has been replaced with King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and his hoard of sexy, nearly naked men... I believe I’ve stumbled upon why I liked this film so much more than anime.

Rupaul, I mean Xerxes, attempts to seduce King Leonidas with his massage skills and superfluous face piercings

The film has sparked a plethora of theories about its deeper meanings. One of the most quoted is that 300 is actually an allegory for the American war in Iraq. I admit it’s fun to extrapolate a film’s plot to modern events, but why must this be a literal translation of America? Who are the Americans anyway - the small loyal band of Spartans or the invading Persians? Arguments surrounding this theory devolve into bipartisan rhetoric: are you a pro-war neocon or a bleeding heart liberal? Why must I be either one to enjoy or reject this movie? Other people love to point out that the film is glorifying a brutal militaristic state and by extension fascism. I believe the Spartans were fascist in historical fact or at the very least violently nationalistic. As a kid I read a lot of books on Greek myths (with a name like Cassandra the interest develops early). This is a movie based on a myth from a civilisation that lived a long time ago. The brutality displayed in the film never exceed what was described in the written stories. Sometimes, no matter what your political beliefs, a Spartan is just a Spartan.

King Leonidas is quite the manly man what with the cape and the screaming and the arrows sticking out of him

The rest of the outrage surrounding this film focuses on the physical attributes of the Spartans (one word - hot) versus the ugly monstrosity of the Persians. It’s true the Persians are all multiethnic uglies and the Spartans are tall, bronzed white men who enjoy walking around with their considerable ab muscles fully engaged. As Anson remarked (rather bitterly), it must be exhausting walking and talking while holding your abs so rigid. The film also does a really bang up job of slowing down the violence for all the good bits. When you slow down a man throwing a spear through another man are you glorifying violence? Yes. You’re also mimicking every illustration, carving and artistic depiction I’ve ever seen of ancient Greek warriors. I was in the Louvre only a month ago and I can tell you that none of the Greek statues had beer guts.

Spartan soldiers engage in the Greek warrior stance of "Sucking It In"

In response to all these reasons why 300 is fascist, or racist, or pro-war I would ask that audiences remember the context of the film. We learn that the narrator of the entire story was a Spartan soldier sent to rouse the troops to continue the war against the Persians. It makes sense that in this soldier’s version of events the Spartans would look like gods and the enemies like monsters. It also makes sense that every kill, every murderous act would be lovingly observed and the “glory” of fighting for Sparta would be held in the highest regard. I think you can have a lot of fun with 300 if you approach it as a thinking adult (who, admittedly, enjoys campy dialogue and video game visual aesthetics). The film can work as an example of propaganda or even a satire of fascism. It also works as homoerotic (or in my case straight woman erotic) titillation in the grand old tradition. Mostly, however, it works as good time at the movies entertainment. Sometimes a bit of the old ultra violence is just what the doctor ordered.

So I liked 300 enough to give it 4 almost-naked Spartan soldiers out of 5. What did you think?

St. Patrick's Day From Hell

2007-03-17T19:50:00.002-04:00

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Yeah, so this St. Patty’s Day was a real wing ding. A sure-fire write home to ma because it’s so darn fantastic whoop-di-do. I’m being sarcastic right now. It’s hard to read in text, so just picture me making furious air quotes around everything.

The day started out on the right track. I wore the humorously insulting socks Stephanie brought me from her visit to Ireland. They have a drunken shamrock on them and proudly proclaim “drink till you’re green!”. I also wore my green, sparkly, very leprechaun inspired coat. No pinches for me, no sir.

They're after me lucky charms!

Although we looked the part, our festive St. Patrick's day was going to get worse. First, right off the bat, some idiot splashes dirty slush all over us as we’re walking to the corner. I swear this dude sped up his car when he saw us. We’re wet and dirty but we hang on to the cheerful spirit because the sun is shining and I’m wearing an obnoxious amount of green.

We have sushi for lunch. Irish sushi? A new tradition! We continue on to the mall. Anson leaves me to look for my birthday gift. I head on in to H&M and see some tops worth trying on. In the change room and slowly and very carefully pull tops over my head. I had minor surgery yesterday and I have a bunch of stitches in my armpit (very ladylike) and this big bandage that wraps around my chest. While I’m in the change room one of the two metal clips holding my bandage falls off and then (bonus!) breaks. As I spend the next ten minutes trying to rebandage myself (while not lifting my left arm), I am hot and in a fair amount of armpit pain - the worst kind of pain. Using a combination of the remaining clip, gravity, and swearing, I am able to rig myself up and leave the store. I’m afraid the clip will break and my bandage will unwrap and I am no longer having much fun.

Still killing time before I meet Anson, I go shopping for more bandages. The joy of this thrilling purchase is momentarily delayed when my debit card is rejected. The message says to contact my bank. Odd, I think, something must be wrong with my PIN.

On the way home from the mall we stop at my bank (well, kiosk really - I’m with PC Financial). I use the PC ATM but the machine still stubbornly states there is an error. A very nice man working in the kiosk phones up the bank and I talk to a representative. I tell her I need to set up a new PIN because something is clearly wrong. She tells me my card has been deactivated. I ask why. She says it’s because I had two large withdrawals in the past two days. Did I take out $1,000 this weekend? Heck no! I say. Ah. The woman is very apologetic. Someone has stolen your pin number and taken your money.

Hell’s bells.

You know those warnings to cover your hands when you punch in your PIN? Watch for cameras and suspicious card readers? They ain’t kidding. I never lost my card, and I was careful when I used a machine. Now I’m out a thousand bucks until the case is resolved in 2 to 3 weeks. In the old days you would get mugged. Now they take your money without you knowing and then you're stuck in bureaucratic red tape for half a month. Thanks 21st century crime! You suck ass!

St. Patrick's Day 2007 - At least I didn't Die.

Alas, now, finally the day is coming to a close. We had an invitation to go out for St. Patty's drinks but due to my unique armpit pain/no money situation we decided to cut our losses and have a beer at home. We have DVDs to watch and I think I'll just refuse to leave the comfort of my apartment for at least 24 hours. As I reflect back on my day I can’t help but think I must have been cursed by the Irish. St. Patrick is a mean SOB. I don’t know why he hates me so much, but next year I think I’ll just stay in bed.

Short, Blurry and Already Covered - My First Video on YouTube

2007-03-01T21:15:00.000-05:00

Well, today I am officially as cool as the average North American twelve year old. That is to say, I've successfully posted a video on YouTube! I tell you, the Internets has sure become easier to navigate since the days of ICQ, Castle Wolfenstein and Napster. Bravo, YouTube. I've enjoyed your illegal television content many times in the past and I'm happy to join your ranks.

My first foray into posted video was shot on our little digital camera last weekend. We went out to dinner with friends and on the way home I convinced Anson to stay on the subway a few extra stops so we could go by the "secret" Lower Bay station. This station is regularly never seen by commuters. They built Lower Bay below the regular Upper Bay station as a transfer point. I think it was only used for a few months in 1966 before the TTC decided it was too difficult to keep open. Now it's creepy and deserted and only used as a film set from time to time. For the next month the TTC is diverting subways through Lower Bay on the weekends while they make repairs to the upper track. If you're in Toronto I highly recommend checking the station out during this limited engagement. The trains don't stop in the station, nor slow down, but the lights are on. Here's the best shot I took of the station as we went by. Notice the poster on the wall. I think it's a pregnant woman holding her stomach. That makes the whole thing creepier, don’t you think?

Lower Bay Station - Notice the walls are slightly more decrepit than normal TTC stations. Spooooky!

Anyway, here's my short video. Believe me, I know it's not the best thing I've ever done. It's short, blurry, and a quick search on YourTube reveals several other videos shot in almost the exact same way. But it's mine! Like the mother of a slow five year old who can't name their colours I must defend my baby. So we have a bit of work to do before we can recognise green. It's a start.

Oh, and if you'd like, please go to where the video is posted and leave a comment. You can even say "FRIST!" if you want.

Glitz! Glamour! Tedious Montages! My Recap of the 2007 Oscars

2007-02-27T09:58:00.001-05:00

I could not be bothered to blog live while watching the Oscars. I had three good reasons. One; no one reads my blog. Two; my computer is in a different room from the TV. Three; I had moderately priced champagne to drink and therefore could not reliably make my sarcastic remarks to the TV and type them out at the same time. So here we are, two days after the Oscars, and this is what I remember from the show.

-- People wear nice clothes and walk the red carpet. The editor from Vogue (Andre something) stays at least three feet away from all the pretty ladies and hilariously reaches across the chasm, robot-like, with his microphone. Perhaps he learned his lesson from Isaac Mizrahi and the unfortunate Scarlett Johansson boob-grab of 2005.
-- I’m watching the Oscars. My cat's name is Oscar. Discuss.
-- First item of the night - a short introducing all the nominees. Made by Errol Morris! I like Errol Morris. I’ve watched his films. I’ve heard him discuss his work but this particular Errol Morris production is not very good. It’s too disjointed and choppy to understand. It bogarts the Mac ads to spectacularly bland and confusing effect.
-- If you’re Ellen Degeneres and you are naturally a funny person, please do not use a full gospel choir to underscore your punch lines. It’s not funny. It’s not even tasteful when you think about it.

Ellen's red velour suit is by Maison Pee-Wee

-- For some reason all the boring awards are at the beginning of the show. Seriously, I am an editor. I know technical stuff and even I don’t care.
-- Children of Men, the best movie of 2006, doesn’t win for cinematography. I emphatically give the TV the finger while shouting “NO YOU DIDN’T! You did not just do that!”. Anson ignores me and eats more popcorn.
-- What do you get if you cross Mr. Clean and a pudgy grandmotherly lady? Strangely, you get Jack Nicholson.
-- The announcer calls Internal Affairs a Japanese film. Anson freaks out and calls the Oscars racist... It's a Chinese film by the way. Do not make this mistake around Anson.
-- Hey! They make movies in other countries! It’s true, and to prove it, here’s a montage. Very little dialogue is spoken in this montage - even after a clear warning not to be alarmed when the footage is “not in chronological order” and “in other languages”.

Canada's Lone Oscar Win (Sorry Deepa): Torill Kove wins Best Animated Short for the film The Danish Poet

-- Best Costume is presented with live models in little groups on the stage. The Dreamgirls ensemble features a man performing, what I believe kids call, the “robot dance”. We laugh and laugh and laugh. Three seconds of a guy in gold lame doing the robot makes up for an hour of relative boredom.
-- Interpretative shadow dancers make shadow pictures from such hits as Snakes on a Plane. That was a very good use of three minutes. God knows the Oscars need more padding so by all means, use shadow pictures. Next year, why not introduce some clowns cart wheeling down the aisles or little dogs trained to jump through hoops of fire?
-- Yadda, yadda, yadda, Jennifer Hudson wins. Forest Whitaker wins. I’m happy for him but by this time I am out of the room on a much needed pee break. Helen Mirren wins (happy for that) but for some reason concludes her speech by holding aloft her Oscar and saying “I give you The Queen!”. I’m a little too tipsy to fully understand what she means. Now, fully sober, I still don’t understand.

Helen Mirren confuses all

-- Another montage! Oh good. I was still on the edge of my seat from that last one. This time the montage is all about the good old USA. I’d like to think the Academy didn’t include this just as a counterbalance to the montage about those “other countries”. I’d like to think they’re not so insecure they needed to give us more clips of flags waving in the air to remind us that America is number one. I’d like to think many nice things.
-- Some other stuff happens, I don’t know. The cat is asleep on my leg and Anson’s eyes are glazing over. We’re not used to being up past 10:30 and we’re feeling the negative effects of so much Al Gore appreciation.
-- Dead people on parade! Please go ahead and clap for the people you recognise and ignore the rest. I’m disappointed by the short nod they give to Robert Altman. I’ll miss him and I could have used a few more clips of his amazing films instead of, I don’t know, another episode of shadow puppet theatre.

Leonardo DiCaprio gives Al Gore his 467th appreciative look of the night, accompanied (as always) with earnest, earnest applause.

-- Yay! Marty Scorsese wins for director! After all those years, and all those disappointments, he finally brings home an Oscar. He’s happy and he says a bunch of stuff in a short period of time. Everyone cheers. Huzzah!
-- Best picture - CHILDREN OF MEN. Oh wait, that’s in my head. The Departed wins best picture and the Oscars end approximately fourteen and a half hours after they began. I get to go to bed.

The Oscars AV Club Presents an Award
Alternate caption: Bow Ties for Everyone!

Thank you Oscars, for not sucking as much as you could. This year was bland but thankfully more relaxed than in years past. Ellen Degeneres was a decent host. Cut down some of the montages and artsy shadow people and you’ll have a better show. I still don’t forgive you for giving best picture to Crash last year (or as I call it, the "racism is BAD movie”), but for all my griping I’ll probably be watching again in 2008.

*** First bit of Oscars gossip just came on the morning news. After Alan Arkin won Best Supporting Actor, fellow nominee Eddie Murphy stormed out of his seat and left the building. He didn’t even stay to see Jennifer Hudson win. Tsk tsk. They dragged Peter O’Toole to the event, and he’s a hundred years old! He didn’t win his category - hell, Peter O’Toole has never won an Oscar but he still took the loss better than Eddie “I played a cartoon donkey” Murphy. ***

Screaming at Briefcases - The Exciting Conclusion

2007-02-05T23:37:00.001-05:00

Although I have a few things to do before I GO TO PARIS (jealous yet? Sure you are. Let it out), I did make time to watch the first instalment of Deal or No Deal Canada. Let me just say, the show did not disappoint. It had the music, the lights, the hysterical contestants, the OCD host - everything. It had all the excitement of American Deal or No Deal yet is was better. It was Canadian.

You might ask how did DOND Canada differ from the American version. Well, let me put it into easy-to-write point form because I’m tired and I want to go to bed soon.

- Those Americans get boring “one dollar” and “two dollar” amounts on their board. What did we get? “Loonies” and “toonies” baby. Ah ha ha. We have such a good sense of humour. Let’s give all our currency wacky nicknames!
- When the banker phones, he doesn’t use any old line, he uses a Rogers phone line. Product placement has never been this obvious or this boring.
- The Canuck banker eschews sitting like his American counterpart in favour of pacing around his fenced off banker zone. He frequently puts his hand on top of the divide in a show of force, or perhaps a desire to escape his glowing red prison.
- How can we make that floor more Canadian? Big ass maple leaf!
- Canadian audiences are way rowdier than American audiences. Not necessarily more happy, or more excited, but the Canadians act like they got drunk and wandered into a free circus featuring the most excellent and entertaining of clowns.

Finally, the best part of DONDC is the contestants. Opening night had a fire fighter who went home with over $100,000, and a crazy Filipino Mountie lady (hereto known as CFML) who literally went bat shit insane within two seconds of taking the stage. CFML was this little screaming, kicking, punching whirlwind of excitement. She could not stop yelling and when the banker called you could hear her literally hyperventilating off camera. She was awesome. Unfortunately, I won’t be here on Thursday to see if she goes home with $500,000, but I hope she gets big money. She deserves it. Hell, I’d watch her for an hour just screaming and kicking at the camera.

So there you go. I went on YouTube to try to find a clip of the crazy Mountie lady but strangely no one has posted it yet. For now I did find a photo (above) that shows one tenth of the insanity this woman displayed. Research has also opened my eyes to other versions of the show from around the world. I encourage you to check them out for yourself. Did you know Quebec DOND has six male models? British DOND looks like it’s taped in someone’s rec room with home made props, and India’s DOND has the hottest host ever.

Deal or No Deal - something we can all agree on. If I were a Politics phD student I think I would have just found my thesis topic.

Well, I’m off to Paris! I am really looking forward to seeing Stephanie, and of course my husband Anson who’s working hard to pay for my trip. Ta ta mes amies! A bientot!

For those of you who cannot be in Paris right now, I offer this image of a cat, on a rooftop, in the City of Lights. Le sigh. I can practically smell the diesel fumes and taste the baguette already.

An Unreasonable Man

2007-02-02T22:56:00.000-05:00

Today An Unreasonable Man is out in limited release. I saw this doc about three months ago and wrote a review that was posted on the FilmCAN website (an excellent site by the way - it concentrates on independent Canadian film - bookmark it. Bookmark it now!). Anyway, the review is a bit stiff, but in general I hope you get a sense that this documentary on Ralph Nader is really eye-opening. I walked into the film with only limited knowledge of Nader but walked out with a whole new understanding and appreciation for who he is and what he is trying to do. I question some of his methods but I'm inspired that there are people like Nader trying to change American politics. I would definitely recommend this film, even for the poli-sci majors out there who already have their Nader arguments firmly in place. With a run time of three hours, the film is interesting (and sometimes funny) enough to keep your attention.

So read the review below, if you want, and try to see the movie now that it's in theatres. I'm going to write again soon, but I'm busy right now with a totally unexpected trip to Paris that I'll be taking next week. Yeah, you read that right. PARIS. Way to go IBM and their policy of sending engineers "on site". Also, bravo to the mooching wives who get a free hotel room in one of the most beautiful cities on Earth. It's almost enough to make me want to throw out my Mac and get a PC. Almost.

An Unreasonable Man
(Directed by Henriette Mantel & Stephan Skrovan)

Who is Ralph Nader? If you were like me, you thought of him as that slightly wacky but naïve U.S. presidential candidate who meant well but stole votes from the Democratic Party and ultimately helped pave the way for two terms of George W. Bush. Of course, no recent American election is that easy to explain, and Ralph Nader’s political ambitions have been largely misunderstood. This film aims to reintroduce Nader to the public and impress upon us that he has always been a tireless crusader for democracy and public safety. From Nader’s early days going up against General Motors, to the young "Nader's Raiders” who fought unregulated corporations, the scope and importance of Nader’s work make him a fascinating historical subject.

There is, of course, some pro Nader bias in parts of the film (swelling music is cued to give the needed oomph to some of his speeches), but An Unreasonable Man thankfully never submits to full-out Michael Moore-style leftist propaganda. Instead the film maintains a general detachment with plenty of historical context , and follows the democratic advice Nader gave to filmmakers Mantel and Skrovan to make sure they talked to his critics. By and large, the film offers a respectable amount of time to those who consider Nader more of a trouble maker than a patriot. Although we can thank Nader for seat belts and airbags, his obsession to make a “sick” democracy healthy again has alienated some of his biggest supporters.

An Unreasonable Man is thought provoking and cohesive, even with its three hour running time. 4 out of 5.

Screaming at Briefcases - the Canadian Edition!

2007-01-24T17:07:00.001-05:00

Is anyone else intrigued about the hype, the sheer squeal-like-a-girly-girl excitement that is accompanying the “Deal or No Deal”’ Canadian special? As far as I can tell it will air after the Superbowl (how Canadian!) and have real Canadian contestants and real Canadian briefcase models (real Canadian breasts? We‘ll see). The big joke, at least according to the ads, is that it will also feature a Canadian host - Howie Mandel. Ah haha ha ha… ha? I must admit I watch the show sometimes because I like seeing people win money and freak out. I also love how everyone tries so hard to continue the lie that the banker is a real person, and not an actor hired to be a silhouette dishing out mathematical equations. The clever rouse is so complete the banker even has his own blog. Here you can read his most entertaining and pointless thoughts. Did you know the banker considers himself “a very very very sexy man”? He is also “definitely not Steve Guttenberg“. This is riveting stuff people.

Where was I going with this? I started reading the banker’s blog and got off track. My point was that we, as a Canadian audience, are very excited by the prospect of Canadians winning lots of money on a big, popular game show. I’m wondering if it’s possible for Canadians to come up with their own game show. Instead of the meagre one or two episode “specials”, how about a real weekly Canadian game show where Canadians could participate and win big money? Okay, granted, if it were on the CBC or some other cash starved network the money might not be “big”, but it could be enough to make us care. Hell, throw in some gift certificates to Canadian Tire and we’d be happy. Does anyone else want to see this? Am I the only one who would be totally psyched to see a farmer from Tillsonburg win five thousand bucks in prime time? I think it would be nice to root for the home team, as it were. And no, Canadian Idol doesn’t count. Canadian Idol doesn’t really count as anything.

Jesus Camp

2007-01-20T10:17:00.001-05:00

I’m back! I had a horrible, HORRIBLE stomach flu. Long story short, I threw up about twenty times and wished I were dead. Then slowly I got better and managed to finish the Jesus Camp documentary review I started last week. So finally, here’s my take on a little doc that’s been getting quite a bit of press recently. I was happy to see this film (and meet the film makers) at the Hot Docs screening last Wednesday. It’s a controversial little flick so let me know what you think. I’m going to go back to drinking lots of fluids now. Peace out.

Jesus Camp
(Directed by Heidi Ewing & Rachel Grady)

Jesus Camp is a shock doc that not only confirms tentative fears about the right wing fundamentalist Christian movement in America, it creates whole new nightmare scenarios you never imagined. The film follows the Evangelical church, in particular children’s pastor Becky Fischer and the brood of tykes that eagerly partake in her “Kids on Fire” summer camp in Devil’s Lake(!), North Dakota. Becky is a fervent believer that children form the backbone of “God’s army” and they must be trained from a young age to be leaders for future generations of soldiers. There is an intensely creepy innocence to Pastor Fischer’s description of her camp, and why the children who are “so close to God, so open” are the perfect fodder for indoctrination into the church’s intolerant and ultimately uneducated views. It is one thing to argue evolution, but quite another to think global warming is a welcome sign of God’s coming apocalypse. As one mom tells her home schooled son (who learns from Evangelical appointed text books), “just think that science can’t prove anything. Everything is God”.

Directed by Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady (whose first film was the excellent "The Boys of Baraka") Jesus Camp is guilty of bias. There is clever sound editing afoot that lets you know when the big bad Christians are on screen, and the voice of dissension in the film, a left leaning southern DJ, does get the last word. It’s hard to know, however, how the filmmakers could have presented their footage much differently. It’s almost like we don’t want to believe people would put a cardboard cut-out of President Bush at the front of their church and ask people to pray to it. We certainly might not want to see young children speaking in tongues, passing around plastic fetuses and crying out for the end of abortion. But there it is - Friday night at Jesus Camp. Oh, for the days of smores and ghost stories around a campfire.

Is the film propaganda? Well, I’m sure there are plenty of Christians (Evangelical or not) who would argue that their summer camps are nothing like “Kids on Fire”. Many people would say this film does not represent them, but others would say it is a mirror to the huge churches being built in America everyday. Both directors spoke to the audience after our screening and said that Pastor Fischer and all the participants had watched the finished film and were very happy with the movie. They saw it as a fair and accurate description of what they do and what they believe. I shuddered to realise that what disturbs the unindoctrinated seems justified to those who pack the pews. Perhaps most shocking of all is the power and popularity of this growing religious movement. This group of fundamentalists hold a lot of sway in politics and infrastructure already, and their voice will continue to shape America in the future. Jesus Camp may anger you, upset you or perhaps even inspire you, but I would recommend everyone see this film for the good of their education. Four out of Five

Little Mosque on the Prairie - Yet Another Blog Review

2007-01-12T16:05:00.001-05:00

On Tuesday night after Rick Mercer, the CBC debuted a new half hour sitcom called “Little Mosque on the Prairie”. The hype about the show has been hard to miss, with various journalists wondering if the comedy about Muslims living in rural Saskatchewan would attract audiences or offend everyone in this delicate and apparently humour free “post 9-11 world”. Nothing sells better than controversy, but the assumption that Muslims would not be able to laugh at themselves and all white Christians are big balls of religiously intolerant rage was getting a little old. After watching the first episode I think it’s safe to say that no one - Muslim, Christian, or otherwise - will be pulling an Elvis and shooting their TVs in disgust.

Although the show did not cause amused shouts of “oh no you didn’t”, it did manage to get a few laughs from me and Anson. Little Mosque is quite a feat for the old Canadian Broadcasting Company for two good reasons. One, it’s a show people actually want to watch ( as long as it’s not on opposite Heroes) and two, it’s really not bad. Historically Canadians absolutely suck when it comes to sitcoms. We like our comedy either political (Rick Mercer), sketch (Kids in the Hall) or hilariously drunken and vulgar (Trailer Park Boys). Little Mosque exists in that rarely seen land of stock characters, snappy banter, and corny jokes more at home in American prime time than on the CBC.

So does the show succeed? Sure, I guess. I will watch it again. This is definitely a show that could improve with time and familiarity. The writing tries a bit too hard to make fun of every viewpoint, the pacing is stiff and many of the jokes just fall flat. In terms of characters, the attractive guy playing the Imam has comic potential but is still too exaggerated in a “look at how outraged I am! You called me a terrorist so I will throw up my hands and make a funny face to the camera!” kind of way. The hicks in town can be amusing, like the bumbling neighbour who stumbles into the mosque during prayer, or they can be completely one dimensional like the intolerant DJ who just comes off like a less interesting (if that’s possible) and less intelligent (almost impossible) Rush Limbaugh. Some of the characters have definite room for improvement, but that’s what you expect from a premiere episode anyway.

Little Mosque on the Prairie shows promise, but it’s not halalarious just yet (I stole that from another review. Another good line? "This show is Allah in the family"). I’m just proud to live in a country that takes a chance on corny jokes even if the person telling them has brown skin and the women wear head scarves. Hopefully the CBC will stick to their schedule and keep Little Mosque after Rick Mercer so that it can build up a fan base. With time, luck, and the growth of talent already evident, this little show may become Canada's next Corner Gas.

One final note. During the show they aired ads for a website that advocates fair employment for immigrants. I thought the ads were pretty good and the message was effective. Just in case you’re interested, the website is www.hireimmigrants.ca.

2007-01-04T17:13:00.000-05:00

This is not documentary related, but I had to share some news with you. My aunt was kind enough to cut out an article in her local newspaper about the "new" and apparently "dynamic" look Archie Comics created for Betty and Veronica. You know Betty and Veronica. Even if you don't have a stack of their comics in your closet like I do, you are familiar with the duo of perky, curvy teenagers who are best friends and bitter enemies over the affections of one Archie Andrews. Fix a picture of them in your mind. The faces are exactly the same but one is brunette and one is blond. They have round cherubic cheeks, big black eyes and sideways "v" noses. They are both innocent and sexy and they always wear cool clothes.

Okay. Ready for the new look?

Um, WTF?

Yeah, that's a whole new world of ugly right there. Where's the "good wholesome Betty" and the "snobby but glamourous Veronica"? Where's Betty's kindness yin to counter Veronica's selfish yang? These generic jailbait teenagers are okay as background art in someone else's comic, but as icons with legions of stupid fans like me? NO WAY MAN. Veronica's face... Veronica's face will haunt my dreams. That is past ugly - it is all the way into fugly. Who knew that if you tried to make Betty and Veronica sexier and more lifelike you would get this?

Now I've been with Archie comics a long time. Even as an adult I pick up the odd double digest just to keep in the loop and feel like a kid again. I understand the need to keep things fresh, because God only knows the trials and tribulations of Riverdale High can get pretty old. A few years ago they wrote a story arc where Jughead got over his fear of girls (or as I always assumed - his latent homosexuality) and acquired not one but two girlfriends. They also tried introducing a third girlfriend for Archie - a saucy redhead named Cheryl Blossom. These attempts at updating the tested chemistry between the main characters was appreciated for a time, but ultimately any new characters were pushed back into the either and life returned to normal. Archie Comics has stated that they are only trying the "new" Betty and Veronica for a few issues starting in May and will go back to the old look soon after. I hope so. I'm tempted to buy the new comics because they might be good collector's items but seriously, how could I bring myself to look at those tarts and think of my beloved Betty and Veronica?

What do you think? Is this a good look for the girls or a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE mistake that should be immediately rectified and forgotten forever? Go ahead and share your thoughts - no pressure.

2006-12-29T16:34:00.000-05:00

Hey, I'm checking out this whole "comments on my blog" thing. Posts should have a comments section and SOON (bonus) a label so that you can search my blog posts for just film reviews or documentary news or (and I know I'm just flattering myself Mr. Smarty Pants), posts about me and my life.

I hope this works. For all three of my readers this should mark a better and more enjoyable reading experience. Make sure you comment! I want to hear what you have to say... person I probably know anyway... Sigh. Hi mom.

2006-12-29T15:24:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year!

The holidays are winding down and so, as in past years, I'm feeling a mix of sadness, relief and satisfaction with putting the Christmas cheer aside and getting back to work. I love the holidays. I actually choose to listen to carols (Phil Spector anyone?). We fill the apartment with twinkling lights, various small decorated trees, and those gel things that stick to your windows. I discovered the gel things this year and went a bit nuts. Every year I make my family watch at least one of the holiday classics - A Charley Brown Christmas, White Christmas, and Pee-Wee's Playhouse Christmas Special ("That was really beautiful Charo!").

Anyway, that's all so 2006 and four days ago. Now I'm looking towards the future; towards Monday and the beginning of 2007. What will this year bring? More attempts at a career in documentary film making? Days spent answering the phone at Marty's optometrist office? Six more issues of that groovy BUST magazine? Yes, all these things and more. I'd like to make a difference this year. I'd like to make my site bigger and better and update my blog with at least twice weekly goodness. I'd like to go back to the indie film scene here in Toronto and reconnect with some folks. I'd like to finish the damn Rentz doc and see if I can actually make a second film.

What are you doing with the new year? Unless I totally bail on my resolutions (before it's actually the new year - a feat in itself) you will see me with more blog entries every couple of days. I'll even set up a comments section so you can leave me little messages and spam. I'll write reviews of documentary films and you can totally disagree with me and tell me why I suck. Honestly. I can take it. I just want to start 2007 off right with a positive and creative drive to expand my site and what I do with my space on the internet. Here's to a good new year for you and me and everyone else. Peace!

2006-04-14T17:52:00.000-04:00

Hello friends. So what happened to my blog? It's a long story and I'm sure you're just asking to be polite. Basically I wanted to switch servers. Not that big of a deal, right? Well it was. Everything kind of went wrong in the middle of the cybernetic either and the stupid passwords stopped working. My site was still online but blogger refused to let me update my blog. Ugh. I was busy with work and projects and since this blog isn't top priority I let it slide... for a long time. But now I am back. In black.

Work has been busy and life has been pretty good. Except for right now. Right now I'm sick and trying to rouse myself up for the required ten minutes to update this blog and answer my email. Pretty soon I'll have to lay down again and moan incoherently until Anson gets me another slushie. I am the virus queen! Flee puny mortals!

To give you an understanding of how I feel at this exact moment, allow me to introduce you to my cat Oscar:

He sleeps head-tucked-under quite a bit while I work in my office. And yes, I do take pictures of my cat. Because I'm cool. He's a great cat! We got him for free during the Toronto Humane Society's "Please Just Take a Damn Cat" event last November. He fits into our motley crew so well it's hard to remember a time when we didn't have him.

Time for some more sweet sweet medicine. Keep healthy and have a great weekend!

P.S. Interesting side note - Blogger doesn't recognize the word "blog" in their online spell checker. It keeps asking me if I want to spell "bloc". That's totally ironic, don't ya think?

2005-11-03T22:48:00.000-05:00

Learning Flash - the hard way.

So if you've read my very infrequently updated site in the past little while you may remember I bought the complete Macromedia Studio. I'm designing a brand new site right now for a client so I'm getting lots of practice. Dreamweaver is a wonderful program that I am very familiar with. Fireworks remains my guilty (yet oh so nerdy) pleasure. Flash? Forget about it. Macromedia decided not to include any printed materials with Studio (causing me to actually phone the company to make sure they weren't just missing from my box - embarrassing, yes). This means I am supposed to learn Flash with nothing but online help and an insanely comprehensive search function. The other day I tried to find information on "image slide show" and got about fifty possible answers. Even after repeated tries I could not find just one "do this you moron" kind of approach.

It's time to face facts. Although I am pretty much self taught and proficient with html, Dreamweaver, JavaScript and the like, Flash is simply too complicated for me little brain. Will I give up? Heck no. I did not go into debt to buy a beautiful program like that to have it sit on my desktop and make me feel dumb. I think I need to read (this hurts) a complete guide to Flash and complete the tutorials. I'll probably be really proud of myself when I can get the red ball to bounce across the blue screen.

I will also be updating this site soon. New projects have been started and old ones completed. I will fill you in later. Until then, if you are in Toronto enjoy this beautiful perfect fall season. It was 16 degrees today and it's November!

2005-08-23T10:26:00.000-04:00

My iMac G5 - No words. Should have sent a poet.

Okay, I'm back. Back at work. Back in my office. Back to life in general. Thank you to all the people who asked me if I'm even in business and why I don't update my page anymore. I beg your forgiveness. I was getting married! I had stuff to do! But I know, it's been a while. I've been busy but I'm back with a vengeance now.

So my most exciting news other than the wedding is my new iMac G5 computer. Oh. Freaking. Yeah. It's a sexy piece of computing technology. 17" widescreen and all the Macintosh bells and whistles. My God "Garage Band" is a fun program. My computer is exactly like the picture but without the netcam and weird "look at my hands" kid. I also went all out and bought the newest version of Final Cut Express and in September they are shipping me the brand spanking new Macromedia Studio set with Dreamweaver, Fireworks and Flash. Macromedia has very recently changed their upgrade policy so if you have ANY older version of Dreamweaver you can buy the new Studio at a much reduced "upgrade" cost. Very cool. Anyway, I'll be feeling the monthly lease payments for a while but it's worth it. I've been wanting, needing, and coveting this computer for a long time. My old iMac, while a brilliant piece of work in its own right, was almost six years old. I was starting to really miss not having OS X and the newest software.

While at Vistek and high off the smell of new Apple products I also bought a little itsy bitsy iPod shuffle. It really has no "business value" but I wear it all over the place and look cool. Hot diggity! More actual work / project updates coming soon. For now, just gaze at my computer and sigh a little in envy.

2005-04-05T19:11:00.000-04:00

Hello! Just a note to answer the question I've been hearing recently - "So what have you been up to anyway?"- Well, anonymous interested party, I've been up to three major things recently:
#1 - Planning my upcoming wedding. The official date is July 9th. That leaves me three months. Yikes. It's a small wedding. I'm not going crazy here but.. yikes.
#2 - Working quite a bit for clients / part time job. Gotta make ends meet you know.
#3 - Not getting my grant and cursing the Canada Arts Council. Unless, of course, you are from the Canada Arts Council. In which case, um, how very nice to meet you. Seriously, this may just be me trying to make myself feel better, but the grant was not necessarily the best way to go with my documentary idea. Something like this doll house doc may not be "artistic" enough for their standards, and would better appeal to a television station.

So what are my plans for the near future? Again, allow me to utilize pointless counting:
#1 - Get married. Have a fantastic wedding. Everything works out fine and I spend the next month catching up on all the sleep I missed planning the wedding.
#2 - Find another source of funding for my doll house project. I will not go down without a fight! I am confident in my ideas, even if I have to re-work and refine them until I find a good fit.
#3 - FINISH RENTZ. Just a few more interviews to go. Time to make this a priority again and put the finished product out there.

Oh, by the way, March marked the one year anniversary of this site and this company. Go Midnight Herring! It's your birthday!

2004-12-19T18:52:00.000-05:00

Hey there! I'm not dead - I've just been out of the country. These past few months have been a blur of grant proposal writing and travel. The exciting news is I went to China! Hong Kong was amazing. I really felt like I could live there (for a short time anyway). We also toured Beijing which was very cold and gray but ultimately fascinating. I am including some pics from this leg of our visit below.

This is me in Tiananmen square.

This is the great wall of China (a rough climb but probably my favourite part of the Beijing tour).

The third pic is the Summer Palace - in winter.

All in all, I'm still getting over the trip and trying to adjust to regular old Toronto living. Like everyone else I'm working extra hard to fulfill seasonal duties like sending cards, wrapping gifts and seeing friends. Like everyone else I'm a bit worried about how late I'm leaving a few things. I shot a lot of footage in China. Will it make a good documentary? Possibly a good experimental documentary. I have so many impressions from my trip and so many memories to think about it will take some time before I can say. It was undoubtedly one of the most memorable and interesting trips of my life.

Season's Greetings! Here's to finishing films and starting exciting new projects in 2005. Cheers!

2004-09-13T17:40:00.000-04:00

As many of you may know (I'm of course assuming many of you read my blog), this week marked the start of the Toronto International Film Festival. I cannot / will not go to any screenings this year. Not for lack of choice of films (I think the selection is quite good) and not for general dislike of the festival as all my past experiences with TIFF have been fine. I will not go, however, because of the $16.75 ticket price. For the first time, one TIFF ticket actually costs more than a movie ticket normally costs in Toronto. How are the up and comers, the movie lovers, and the assorted artistic not so rich types supposed to attend? You want to go to 2 films? $33.50. 5 films? $83.75. Well, you get the idea.

I have a bunch of stuff to do and I'm not above procrastination where movies are involved, but this year I'm saying no to TIFF. I did, however say yes once more to Doc Soup. $95 for tickets to 17 fantastic docs - 10 of them your choice during the Hot Docs festival. One more reason why documentary kicks butt.

Finally, I offer one observation I had while in Yorkville this weekend: Tiny printed tank tops on 15 year old Paris Hilton clones are multiplying like a horrible fashion virus. Everywhere you looked it said "I'm with the Band", "Mrs. Timberlake", or "Spoiled Rotten". How clever can it be when EVERYONE is doing the exact same thing? ... Don't even get me started on the ruffled micro mini skirts.

2004-09-08T13:10:00.000-04:00

Hello! Click on over to the Rentz page (www.midnightherring.net/Rentz.html) to see the new, improved web page style and graphic goodness. Whoopie! I made stills! You can get to this page from the link under "Current Project" above or on the home page. I'll be putting up a few more stills as I digitize footage.

Oh, and I also made a much better "Miniatures Documentary" graphic. The previous one was a last minute type deal. I still don't have a title for this upcoming project. Small world?.. Nah. Too Disney. If anyone has any ideas I'm happy to hear them.

Final news concerns the editing work I'm doing for the next month or so (both my own and the kind that pays the bills) so I may not have much time to update my business site. I'm putting together a grant proposal due on October 15th so wish me luck.

One more thing - I added a new Blogger feature that allows readers to e-mail my blog posts to their friends. Obviously this was a greatly needed service and was not added just to make me feel popular. No, not at all.

2004-08-23T15:48:00.000-04:00

Hot time; summer in the city.

Crazy busy times. Friends visiting, house buying, planning a trip to China this fall and working on documentaries any chance I get. Next weekend I'm going to visit my family in Port Dover. I missed Friday the 13th AGAIN. 100,000 bikers in a small lake side town. You gotta love it. No seriously - the bikers are everywhere so you really have no choice.

Anyway, on to actual news. Rentz documentary is currently being digitized on my computer. We will take a look in a few days to see what we have to add in terms of last interviews and voice over narration. All in all, things look good. I will talk more about this soon. Look for images to be added to the Rentz website.

The miniatures documentary (see front page for more info) is going well with three prominent Canadian artisans expressing interest in the film. I am sending out letters of agreement for them to sign post haste. In case you're wondering, a letter of agreement is a contract expressing permission to appear in a documentary should the documentary actually be made. It is not a release form for the actual footage (that comes later). It's part of a larger package including budget, resumes, crew lists, visual and audio treatments that a producer presents to investors. It's all designed to basically prove that you can make the film you say you will.

There's your "making your own documentary" glossary term for today. Isn't this fun kids?!... um, kids?.... hello?

2004-07-21T20:48:00.000-04:00

Hello from smoggy, hot, wish-I-had-air-conditioning Toronto,

News this month - If you look at the index page of this site you'll notice a few little changes. First, I finally put up a brief page about the Rentz documentary (the link for it is under "Current Project"). I will expand on this basic page in the coming months with stills and more info. The Rentz doc is really getting exciting now. My producer and I can hardly wait to get into the editing room. For practice I made a very cool "demo" DVD of the footage we shot so far - it had an interactive menu and strange (but not altogether unpleasant) Western music. I can now say I am officially satisfied with my DVD burning capabilities.

Secondly, on the main page I have posted a graphic and paragraph about my *new* documentary on the fascinating world of dollhouse miniatures. This is in pre PRE production. I plan to shoot (hopefully, fingers crossed ... please please please have funding come through) next Spring. If you would like to discuss filming your own collection of miniatures, or if you are an artisan who creates miniatures please do not hesitate to contact me by phone or e-mail. You can also volunteer to help pay for this film. Seriously, I will give fantastic glowing credits to anyone who helps me finance this very worthy documentary.

I saw "Farenheiht 9/11" and I have lots to say, but that will have to wait until another time. Go out and support documentary! See a doc in theatres! ... and Spiderman 2.... which has already made a gazillion dollars but was very good nonetheless.

2004-06-22T11:57:00.002-04:00

Me again from Midnight Herring headquarters. Today I bring news of light purchases and DVD burners. Gather round for a tale of intrigue and scandal...

How else can I make buying two lights from Henry's seem exciting? Well, I think it's pretty exciting to finally have real, decent film lights. No longer will I be a slave to the sun! I am now the proud owner of two 500W "Deluxe" lights WITH stands. You heard right - WITH stands. It was a bit of a downer when I realized the soft box lights I really wanted were about $700 each but I'm happy with the lights I did buy. I'll have a chance to test them out tomorrow when we film various pieces of art work for the Rentz documentary. For those keeping score at home we are STILL in production but the filming is set to end by July.

This month I also purchased basic DVD authoring and editing software (Pinnacle's Studio 9). After reading a bunch of reviews and bothering everyone I think it's a good choice for me and my price range. The editing is basic but suitable for simple projects. I really wanted it for the DVD capabilities and I'll be testing that side of things in the next few days.

So I guess that's it. If I seem a bit down it's due to an affliction known as "the heinous cold of death". I only get sick once or twice a year but when I do I make up for lost time. If you feel sorry for me feel free to write encouraging notes or come to my place and make me some soup. Sniff. Poor suffering film maker without any soup. Well, I have soup but it's way over in the kitchen and I'm so tired...

2004-05-19T15:31:00.000-04:00

Whoops. I guess a month has gone by since my last blog update. Sorry about that. Lest you think I'm lazy the reason for my late update is actually that I've been very very busy. I was gathering my first years company taxes (I have never cared so much about sensible labeling in my life), attending Hot Docs 2004, filming another Rentz doc interview and finishing a business web site for a client. Oh, I also ran a marathon. Okay I'm lying about that last one.

First of all, I know I said I would write and post reviews for all the films I saw at Hot Docs. I will still do this. Yes sir. As soon as "spare time" that I have not already allocated to going out or playing nerdy video games presents itself. That is to say, reviews are coming but I need more time.

Secondly, the interview we filmed for the Rentz documentary went very well. We spoke to Mr. Madaule - a folk art collector who bought many Rentz pieces when they first went on the market. Mr. Madaule's home was very beautiful and he was very gracious about letting us film his collection. His camera demeanor was also spot-on. He really enjoyed talking about Rentz and was a natural when it came to projecting enthusiasm about the subject. I still have to put the footage into the computer but the bits I have seen look good. The next interview - with a supreme court judge / folk art collector - is scheduled for next Tuesday.

Go ahead and give www.monkeybusinesscreative.com a click. This is the web site I designed for a client and finished recently. The site is for a children's musician and educator. We wanted something kid friendly but also functional for adults so the client could easily sell his CDs and give info on his professional services. I created all the original graphics you see in the borders and menu bar, and incorporated the client's CD artwork into the large images. All in all (commence patting on the back) I'm really happy with the way everything turned out and especially happy that my client loves the new site as well. Way to go, me!

Way to go me indeed. New updates will be more frequent and coming soon. Now go outside and enjoy the sunshine!

2004-04-13T23:38:00.000-04:00

This will be a short entry. These days I'm pretty consumed with the web site I'm building for a client, and trying to get my taxes together for the end of the month (gotta love finding all those receipts!). Anyway, I just wanted to post a still from the Rentz documentary. This is Susan Murray. She is an art collector and very well respected lobbyist. It was a pleasure to interview her in her office. As you can tell by the still, there was a Rentz sculpture on the table that I kept in the foreground of the frame. I also shot a portion of the interview in a closer head and shoulders frame. The lighting was very natural and flattering. All in all I am very happy with the footage.

Well, I hope you enjoy this sneak peek at the Rentz doc. I saw a great doc called "The Lost Boys of Sudan" last week but I'll write the review for it later. Right now it's time to finally turn off the computer and call it a night.

2004-04-06T14:21:00.000-04:00

MidnightHerring.net is one month old! Thank you to everyone who gave me feedback and tips. I've tweaked a few things based on your comments. Some of you really know your grammar. Good on ya. Also, we're now officially listed on Google. Yes, search Google for "Midnight Herring Productions" and we are number one!... sure, we're also the *only* production company with that name but still - number ONE!

The past few weeks have been eventful. I had my birthday and visited friends and family. I also started putting the footage we have for the Rentz doc on my computer. I'm starting to play around with it and see what we may need in future interviews. Our next interview is tentatively scheduled for next week. We've also started thinking about how we want to film the actual artwork. It's important to myself and the producer that the art is allowed to take centre stage; that we give adequate time for the viewer to really see the details. I think a turn table in front of a simple white backdrop may be the answer. It's going to take some tests. More on that later.

Otherwise, the web page I'm working on is nearing completion. I'm having a lot of fun putting together colour schemes and textures. The original web site was fairly large but I've condensed the whole thing into five main pages. We want children to feel as welcome to the site as adults, so I put the emphasis on images rather than words. Of course there will be changes and small adjustments before the site is published, but I'm confident to have it up by the middle of the month.

I will need spare time at the end of April to attend Hot Docs. Finally, the festival I most eagerly anticipate is coming back for another doc-filled week! I just received the screening schedule in the mail and it looks impressive. I'm always surprised by what films I end up loving and what films I regret using tickets on. You can't always tell by twenty word blurbs what films to watch, but seeing something unexpected is the real fun of any film festival. I will write reviews for all the films I see during Hot Docs. Yes, that is a warning.

2004-03-17T22:35:00.000-05:00

Happy St. Patrick's day! (insert fiddle music here)
I spent St. Patty's day in the Eaton centre where every single teenager in Toronto was loitering through their March break. It was kind of fun to hang out for an afternoon, although sadly the day is now over and I did not drink one glass of green beer.

Things have been busy this past week. On Monday we went to London, Ontario to visit Ewald Rentz's son. He gave us permission to use a variety of personal photos and news clippings about Ewald. It was a very productive visit, and now I have some really great images burned onto CD that will help flesh out some of the personal recollections about Rentz and his work. We also have footage of Ewald's son talking about his father that will provide necessary background info on Rentz's life and how it affected his art.

This week I also began serious work on a new business web site I'm designing for a client. My client is a children's musician and educator so his desire to appeal to children as well as adults is allowing me to be fun and playful with the site design. I hope (fingers crossed) to have the final site up within a few weeks.

Finally, today the guy from Rogers came and hooked up our digital cable box. We finally gave in to their incessant promos about the amazing world of 900 channels; not because I love TV that much, but because now I have the Documentary channel. Oh, and CoolTV which is, appropriately, pretty darn cool... and MuchMore Retro. Seriously though, it was all about the Documentary channel.

2004-03-11T22:54:00.000-05:00

The first official interview on the Rentz documentary is in the can... or... on tape. In a little plastic box. My point is that the first interview is done and it went terrifically well! We shot in a very impressive corporate office that was full of folk art. The CEO displayed numerous important pieces of Rentz among her collection. We used natural light, which gave a very flattering effect. The sound was clear but a bit thin because we didn't use a lav mic. I think I'll consider buying one for the next project. Still, for the first day I was very happy. My co-producer and I had all our questions ready and our interviewee (who is a lobbyist so she's used to public speaking) covered all our ideas like a pro.

Later on that night I went to a Doc Soup movie. Doc Soup is a series of once monthly documentary screenings that occur throughout the winter. The series as a whole has been getting better, and the size of the audience has almost tripled since it began three years ago - good news for anyone making docs. Tonight's film was entitled "Tom Dowd and the Language of Music". It was a biography of music engineer and musician Tom Dowd. Upon entering the theatre I had no idea who Tom Dowd was but now I will be hard pressed to listen to music without thinking of him.

Tom Dowd captured and recorded the music of an amazing array of artists from the Forties to the 21st century including John Coltrane, Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, Eric Clapton, The Allman Brothers Band, and many more. The film uses a lot of archival footage of these legendary musicians performing their classic hits and that alone is wonderful to watch. Beyond this, the connection between Dowd and the musicians is strengthened through interviews with the artists and the record execs who praise his talent. Dowd was a natural musician, a true lover of all kinds of music and a great technical mind as well; he pioneered the use of 8 track mixers that revolutionized the way music would be recorded. In the film's many interviews with Dowd he exhibits a kind of humble warmth and humour that makes him one of the most likable people I've ever seen in a documentary. I read the film makers shot on 16 mm cameras and had to conduct the interviews over a period of six years because they kept running out of money. I admire their perseverance and am thankful for their efforts. I really enjoyed this film and would highly recommend it to anyone.

Well, off to bed. Holla out to Anson and his family in beautiful BC. I'll think of you while I'm enjoying another cold front and maybe (just maybe) walking to work tomorrow morning with hail blowing in my face.

2004-03-08T09:16:00.000-05:00

My web site is up at last! Thank you, thank you! Please hold your applause. The hardest part of designing this site (although it now looks kind of easy) was getting the blog to work within my page template. In the end, the "trick" was mind numbing html manipulation. Many thanks to Anson for helping out when I needed a boost.

I'm shooting the first interview on the Rentz doc this Wednesday. I have camera tests to run before then and I may consider buying a small light. I'll check out the deals at Vistek since I'm going there to buy short VHS tapes for a music video I edited. If you haven't been, Vistek is a Toronto store that carries everything (cameras, lights, audio) for video production and post production. It's my favourite place to drool over the newest Apple products I can't afford and argue the merits of Final Cut Pro versus Final Cut Pro Express.

For the record, I know that sounds geeky.

2004-02-24T20:20:00.000-05:00

This is a test of the emergency Blog system. Beeeeeeep.