Um, should we be scared by this?

I'm not trying to turn this into a political blog. I get enough politics watching and writing about documentaries. I'd prefer to discuss books, video games and spooky old movies starring Vincent Price AND Peter Cushing ("MADHOUSE" in case you're interested, and believe me, you are interested). Still, there are times when I read the newspaper and something strikes me as so politically cra-zay I need to write my thoughts down to you, an audience of at least eleven people. Here I go, and please try not to let my eloquence forever sway your opinion of certain Canadian politicians.

Prime Minister Stephen Harper has been working for months on a brand new, top-secret media building to be built on the site of a former shoe shop. At the cost of 2 million dollars, the facility would be completely government controlled, allowing Harper's staff to choose which reporters are allowed in, what topics they may discuss, and possibly whether they are to address him as "Mr. Prime Minister" or "Senior Overlord Fantastico". The endeavour is called The Shoe Store Project because Operation Press can Suck It was a bit too obvious.

Everyone knows that Harper has a beef with the press, and indeed he's avoided much contact with them so far. Well, maybe those pesky Ottawa reporters had it coming and maybe the current National Press Theatre was getting outdated and had awful shag carpeting or something. I still don't think that's an excuse to go all evil genius on the Canadian people and start building your own media compound. The documents on the proposed facility state a desire to "put in place robust physical and information security measures to protect the prime minister and cabinet". Here's an artistic rendition of what I think The Shoe Store Project may look like, if it indeed ever sees the light of day:

Originally I was going to have Harper exploding out of the building like Godzilla, pulling trees out of the ground and breathing fire. Then I realised he's my Prime Minister and deserves better treatment. Also, I can't draw worth corn.
Oh my God what a chilling vision of the future! Look at that grey brick work, moat, and guards shooting freaking laser beams at innocent citizens. That, my friends, is what I call subtle political satire. If you gave me ten minutes before dinner and a package of pencil crayons I could hardly produce something more evocative and moving.

Is The Shoe Store Project going to become a reality? Well, since the Toronto Star uncovered the story, the Harper government has been quick to say that it was all just a bunch of silly research and will not be completed. We'll see. I think it's a very interesting little story to follow, and I hope you enjoyed my completely biased and half baked opinion on this subject. If you disagree with me, good for you! Post your comments. Unlike in Harper's shoe shop, I value freedom of speech in all its forms.

Doc Soup Heats Up

Alternate titles for the post:

Grab a Spoon and some Righteous Indignation - Doc Soup is On!

Doc Soup: Now with 20% more vitamin TRUTH.

Eh, I amuse myself at least. My point is that the Doc Soup 2007 season begins October 3rd and it's not too late to buy a subscription. I think the Doc Soup / Hot Docs combo is one of the best movie deals in town; 7 Doc Soup screenings plus your choice of 10 Hot Docs screenings for only $140 plus tax. That's six dollars a ticket or something. What am I, a calculator? All I know is that it's a lot cheaper than going to TIFF or even seeing a regular Hollywood movie. Plus, only Doc Soup makes the long, cold winter even more depressing with monthly screenings about people throwing themselves off bridges, or (spot the theme!) joining a cult and commiting mass suicide.

I love docs, but when February (that darkest and bleakest of months) arrives, is it so difficult to screen a documentary about kittens running through meadows? Maybe a feature about happy people playing ukelales? This year's Doc Soup kicks off with the "inside story" about the American occupation in Iraq. The film is called No End in Sight, so, you know, I'm expecting a barrel of laughs.

I kid, I kid. I really do look forward to Doc Soup every year and I'm sure this first feature will give me plenty to reflect on and cry about next time I get depressed about the state of the world. Okay, I'm still kidding. Depression is a comedy goldmine! I've heard some really good things about No End in Sight, and I will share my thoughts about the film very soon.

Check out the Doc Soup website to find info on buying single tickets, or passes for the whole Doc Soup season.